*The Obamas may have a lot of collective and individual accomplishments to their credit, but believe it or not, they are just like ever married couple with good days and bad days.
In a recent interview on the Jay Shetty Podcast, former First Lady Michelle Obama got candid with discussing her marriage to former president Barack Obama and how they managed to stay together for more than three decades.
When asked if she and Barack said anything they later regretted, The Jasmine Brand noted Michelle’s response.
“What… in my marriage? Of course! Yesterday. [laughs], “she said. “You know, that’s the practice of relationships, right? After thirty-one years, yeah, we still do it, but you know it quicker. And then you apologize. You know? You learn how to say, ‘My bad.’”
In addition to marital regrets, Mrs. Obama touched on her efforts to create a safe space for chats about relationship struggles. In her eyes, communication is an asset in overcoming those struggles.
“Most people don’t talk about [marriage]. Like, our parents… you didn’t talk about your marriage, you didn’t talk about your feelings. Your parents didn’t tell you about the challenges they were facing. So, why? Why don’t we share the whole experience… what happens is that by not knowing, you hit, in your relationship, some natural, like understandable rough patches and you want to quit! And it’s like… oh, no, no, no, no, no! That’s not quite worth it. That’s just the nature of things,” the best-selling author explained before touching on the challenges that come with marriage and being able to work through those challenges.
“You’re mad at your partner? You’re mad for a year, and you think the marriage is over? Nah, nah! You’re going to have decades of ‘I don’t know if I like you.’ You know? Because, throughout a thirty-year marriage, yeah, you cobble together enough arguments and you got a decade, right? And that’s just the way it goes, but you don’t quit on it, right? You learn from it. And that’s what sustaining a relationship is. It’s the choice to figure it out, not to quit when it gets hard.”
“Of course, it’s going to be hard, you know, but I wouldn’t trade in my marriage for anything in the world… with all the ups and downs, with all the running for president stuff. Why’d you do that? [laughs],” she continued. “I mean, talk about that being a big gaping thing in our lives! But the good has outweighed it. And if we hadn’t hung in there, we would’ve missed all the good.”
Overall, Mrs. Obama cited the importance of choosing a person you can love and respect through it all, no matter the circumstances.
“First of all, pick well. Pick somebody you respect and like. Start there, right? And then remember that that’s who they are,” she voiced. “And then understand that with that, they are going to be–and you are going to be–deeply, deeply flawed [laughs] And you’re going to make a whole lot of mistakes, right? But, in the end, you can look that person in the eye and you go, ‘You’re still the person that I like and love and respect, and we can figure this out.”
Mrs. Obama’s comments represent shades of a successful marriage after tying the knot in 1992. The pair, who occupied the White House for two presidential terms are parents of two daughters, Sasha and Malia.
As she reflects on her marriage, Mrs. Obama is quick to tell people to not put her and Barack among the “hashtag couples goals” set of those who have no issues to deal with.
“I don’t want people looking at me and Barack like hashtag couples goals and not know that, ‘No, no! There [are] some broken things that happen even in the best of marriages!’” she added.
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