*Comedian and radio personality Rickey Smiley opens up about the immense grief he has endured as both a parent and a son in his new book, “Sideshow: Living With Loss and Moving Forward with Faith,” set to be released on September 17 by HarperCollins.
In this deeply personal memoir, Smiley explains how his faith has been a guiding force through the darkest moments of his life, helping him cope with the tragic loss of his eldest son, Brandon, who passed away from a drug overdose at 32, and his father, Calvin Huntley Smiley, who succumbed to a long battle with addiction years earlier. In the book, Smiley also tackles the stigma surrounding drug addiction and mental health within the Black community, offering insights into the struggles many families face but seldom discuss.
Smiley shared that his therapist encouraged him to document his grief journey as a means of healing and to offer support to others dealing with similar challenges.
“According to my therapist, she felt like writing out my feelings and my experiences and what did I learn from it would be a good thing, that it would help a lot of people. Because one thing we have to understand is that this thing is not just about you. If you’re a public figure and you’re on a public platform, you got people out here praying for you and… they’re going through the same thing,” he told EUR’s Ny MaGee.
“They have lost their kids also,” Smiley added. “So, here’s an opportunity for you to take advantage and put some material together to help others, because most of the time… when we go through something, we always want to find a way to figure out how to help someone else that’s going through the same thing.”
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Part of Smiley’s healing process involves getting on the radio each morning to make people laugh and engage in meaningful conversations, which helps distract him from his grief.
“I can’t even describe the butterflies and the anxiety that comes with losing a child,” he stated.
Smiley’s son Brandon passed away in 2023 from fentanyl and ethanol toxicity after struggling with a years-long addiction to painkillers.
“I sent him to rehab twice. It was very expensive. It was killing me,” Smiley shared.
“It was heartbreaking to see him go through that. Then he would come out, he would get clean, and he would be a different person. Then you can notice his behavior change. I didn’t even understand the behavior, and it hurt our relationship, because with drug addiction comes a certain type of behavior. His death forced me to understand that behavior comes with that,” he continued.
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“We have to talk about drug use and everything that comes with it. We have to address it,” Smiley said.
“I had people say, ‘Well, sometimes God just intervened. God just took them, or whatever.’ Sometimes there’s a reason that people die. Sometimes people die for making bad choices. We have to address that as well. You just can’t pull a cover over it and say, ‘Well, God just came down.’ No, a lot of people in the cemetery would still be living had they made different choices.”
Watch our full candid conversation with Rickey Smiley about grief, faith, and addiction via the clip below.
He’s set to kick off his book tour this month, see the dates and cities here.
You can order “Sideshow: Living With Loss and Moving Forward with Faith” here.
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