(Source: Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images North America)
*Claudia Jordan from “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” has sought out the world’s most renowned matchmaker and favorite love guru, Patti Stanger, for help achieving her relationship goals.
Jordan will be featured on the upcoming episode of WE Tv’s, “Million Dollar Matchmaker,” airing this Friday, (Sep. 29), and EUR/Electronic Urban Report caught upon with the reality TV star and co-host of The Raw Word to dish about her ideal man and what she learned about herself during the process with Patti and her team of experts, including life coach Candace Smith.
Cheek out our Q&A with Ms. Jordan below.
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(Source: Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images North America)
What inspired your decision to seek Patti’s professional help with successfully navigating the dating scene?
CJ: I like how she weeds out the B.S. and that’s something that I haven’t really been good at. You’ll see on the show that she tells me I’m too trusting. I need to investigate more. ‘Cause I’ve definitely been duped more than once and I figured it’s time to get a professional to help me out because, clearly, I can’t just leave it up to myself.
Did you also seek out a matchmaker to help you discover areas in your life that may be affecting your romantic life? If so, did you learn anything about yourself through this process?
CJ: I actually did. And I thought it was going to be a very easy-breezy process. I didn’t think we’d go as deep as we did. When we got in the room and Patti starts to dissect what your issues are, she figured it out immediately. It took her a minute to see what she thought was something I needed to address. She made me work on it immediately, and it was tough. I was emotional. I was crying. I didn’t expect that. I thought this was going to be easy. If I find someone, I find someone. If I don’t, I don’t. I think the most valuable part of the experience is what you kind of figure out is your short-coming, or is your issue that’s been holding you back. That was the most moving part of the experience. ‘Cause whether it works out with the guy or not, there’s issues that you find out about yourself that will help you moving forward in life, in relationships and in work — in all areas.
Patti and her team, do they have a sense of humor or are they all business?
CJ: They have a sense of humor (but) they can be a little bit mean, or some people might take that as being mean. I take it as kinda getting straight to the point. But I’m also from the East coast and we’re more on that straight shooter tip. There’s no sugar-coating with them. But I find that to be funny. It’s not for everybody. Some people might think, “Oh wow, that’s harsh.” But I’ve lived in L.A. for 20 years and I get tired of the beating around the bush and the sugar-coating. I’d rather you just say what you mean and mean what you say. Cut to the chase, we don’t have time for all of that. So yeah, it was funny. Candace was funny, Patti was funny, but also they meant business. They don’t play around. They take it very seriously.
(Source: Maury Phillips/Getty Images North America)
Speaking of Los Angeles, do you think the dating scene is more challenging for black women?
CJ: Absolutely challenging because I feel like L.A. is very much about like, what’s trendy. Like, the rappers say, “Get you a Spanish girl,” and it’s like, “Later for the Black girls.” It seems like we’re always last on the list and I’ve had people push me out the way to get to one of my non-black friends, and I find that crazy. I have a friend that tells me, she’s like, “I’ve had men get at me just because I’m white, like, that’s it — that’s all they want.” And she admits it and she’s like, “It’s because it’s what’s “in” — you know, “other.” And yeah, a lot of my black female friends out here are single and they find it very difficult out here, very much so. Last on the list, for some reason — which is crazy.
Yes, the hip-hop culture heavily promotes and uplifts every woman but the black woman but do you think black women will ever become “trendy” (again) to date?
CJ: I do. I think it’s starting to. You know what’s funny, before it seemed like, for black men, a status symbol of being successful was to be with a white woman. Like, get the one that was taboo to get. But now it seems like rich, white men, their symbol of success is a black woman — a chocolate woman at that. You see that being a little bit more common now, and that really wasn’t the case before. I’ve seen people being more open to that. Absolutely.
So what is Claudia Jordan’s ideal man like? What are your relationship goals?
CJ: I’ve had problems with lying men. Just, people not being who they say they are and I’ve been in serious relationships with people that I didn’t really know that much about them because they were acting, or they had an agenda. I’m telling my secrets and what you see is what you get but they’re putting on an act, there’s a motive there. And that’s been really difficult for me because I’m so honest and I think because I’m doing that, I’m being honest with you, then I just assume you’re being honest with me and that’s not always the case. I’ve been shocked with like, a double life or just nothing being true and I’ve found out the hard way that I think I rush into things to fast. I’m a hopeless romantic and if it feels good, it seems good, then I’m like, “Okay.” And I think I spend a lot of time proving myself to the person instead of letting them prove themselves to me. I think I’m missing red flags sometimes because like, I think being on reality TV, you feel like you kinda almost have to apologize for some things. Like, “I wasn’t really like that,” or “That wasn’t true.” So you spend a lot of time trying to prove yourself to the man instead of letting them earn your trust. And I’m definitely guilty of that. And I think in the show, Patti uncovers the reason why I do that.
Do you think that men who use matchmakers take dating and relationships more serious?
CJ: I do. I think part of the battle is when you’re out here dating on your own, you might meet someone who totally thinks that they want a relationship and a lot of people are sending mixed signals. They are courting you. They are spending time with you. You’re intimate with them and you might spend six months with a person and then they’re like, “I’m not ready for a relationship.” And you’re like, “What? What have we been doing?” Like, that’s kinda what a relationship is. And people that are on a matchmaking service, I tend to think that they’re there because they do want a relationship. So I think you kind of weed out the men that may be wasting your time, that just want to be casual or just want hook ups. So I’m an advocate of dating services now. I think you cut out the people that might waste a year of your time having you think you’re headed somewhere but they’re just kinda, killing time or whatever.
It’s safe to assume then that, based on your experience with “Million Dollar Matchmaker,” you would recommend to your single friends, and all single women, to consider a dating coach?
CJ: I do recommend matchmaking services. I’m a fan of them and I always thought it was kind of weird before. I always thought that’s for the people who are not cool but I think it’s getting harder and harder to find love. I don’t know if it’s because we’re just all into our own world with our phones looking down, we’re not even looking up and smelling the roses anymore, or just being busy — it’s getting harder to meet people. So I just think that they’re very useful.
So after viewers watch your episode, you’re hoping they’re willing to give matchmaking a try.
CJ: I would say a good matchmaker, that kinda digs a little bit deeper and is not just into the surface. I think you can learn a lot. It can be a very beneficial experience because, like with Patti, what she does is she doesn’t just say, “What’s your type? Oh, I think I’ve got a guy for you.” She digs deep and gets to the root of why you’ve had issues or what’s happening in your life – what mistakes you might be making or maybe you had some trauma when you were younger and maybe you’re looking for love in the wrong places, maybe you have daddy issues. So she kind of puts a mirror on you. She shows you where you may be lacking. I think every women should want to investigate if they’re still spinning their wheels and kinda doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same results then you might want to look into maybe there’s something that you’re doing, or a mistake that you’re making. So I think it’s really good, especially for the self-help aspect of it. I absolutely hope that women take from my episode like, “Hmm… maybe I have that same issue and that’s why I’ve had problems and maybe I need to unblock myself.”
Lastly, how would you describe your overall “Million Dollar Matchmaker” experience? Did you meet your match?
CJ: I think they did a good job and I think that it also helps that I’m friends was Candace. So she knew a little bit more background. She knows about my ex-boyfriend and some of the issues I’ve had along the way so there was a little special interest in really helping me out ‘cause my girl’s on the show. So I think she really wanted to go out of her way to find a good option for me and she did.
“Million Dollar Matchmaker airs Fridays at 9/8c on WE tv.
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