*I could feel it brewing. With every sentence of our conversation, I was nearing a light simmer. What we were debating was trivial; nothing that would change anything.
Today, I can’t even remember what the subject was. I just remember that whatever it was, he disagreed with me, and that annoyed me.
Luckily, I pulled the plane up before saying something I shouldn’t have. Our phone conversation ended on a good note, with him none the wiser.
Afterward, I tried to figure out why I had gotten so upset. I’ve learned over the years not to be an ‘I-don’t-know’ person. You know—someone who tells you how they feel about something, you ask why they feel that way, and they say, “I don’t know—I just do.” If you don’t understand how and why you feel a certain way—if you’re too scared or lazy to follow the breadcrumbs to the answer—who does?
So, in my mind, I revisited the moments before that phone conversation. It wasn’t anything work-related that bothered me. There was nothing about family or friends distracting me.
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Then it hit me: About an hour before the phone call, I watched CNN.
In my quest to stay informed, I watched the news channel for a few hours. I had no negative reaction to what I saw and heard. Or so I thought.
But apparently, I internalized the information, and it affected me. I had no issue with what my friend said, my emotions were connected to the day’s news.
Thing is, I know better. I know doggone well that everything happening in the world today requires awareness of how it might impact one’s mental well-being.
We all face enough personal challenges without the added weight of national and global events. The fact is, handling daily life demands a specific approach.
Although I didn’t do it on the day of that phone call, my best days are when I start with the intention of not going through them on “automatic”—that is, just kind of wandering through a day without being mindful or aware. It’s not easy because it’s natural for many of us to simply take the days as they come, without direction or focus.
Part of that consideration involves being careful about what I allow into my mind to fester. It’s like anything in life—for example, too much bacon isn’t good for you. Nor is a heavy diet of negative news (I don’t eat pork; See’s candy is my crack). In these times, it’s crucial to stay informed without letting the information consume you.
I’ve also noticed that completing tasks and pursuing goals lessens the anxiety caused by things I can’t control. When I’m making progress, no matter how small, those wins remind me that I’m not helpless and that life still has normalcy. When everything else fails, do your laundry. There’s power in clean underwear.
I focus on remembering the good things in my life. I heard somewhere that if we could take all our problems, place them out on the curb, and then pick through our neighbor’s problems to take as our own, we’d glance at theirs, gather up our own, tiptoe back inside the house, lock the door, and draw the shades. Regardless of your circumstances, things could be worse.
I try not to forget that the instant I leave my humble abode, all my Gandhi-ness could evaporate. Road rage, attitudes in parking lots, fist fights at big-box stores—people are struggling. We have to work to maintain understanding. And be careful.
All of this takes effort. But these surreal, crazy times require it, and you–we–deserve peace of mind. When I talk to you, I’m also talking to myself.
That’s why I need to get my mind off See’s candy. They make a thing called the “Dark Scotchmallow”—honey marshmallow and vanilla caramel wrapped in dark chocolate—that is the neutron bomb.
Steven Ivory, a veteran journalist, essayist, and author, writes and discusses popular culture across various platforms, including the Internet, TV, radio, documentaries, magazines, and newspapers. The Last Man on AOL is at [email protected]
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