*On “The Tonight Show” Monday, The Roots’ Tariq “Black Thought” Trotter celebrated Star Wars Day on May 4 by rapping an update about what every character, from Anakin to Yoda, is up to in quarantine.
Watch below, followed by the full lyrics.
May the fourth be with you, may it be with you always, That also means in quarantines, from spring to into fall days, Even Star Wars characters are home for a while, So, let’s catch up with them now alphabetical style, A’s for Admiral Akbar, the lobster lookin’ guy, Saying “This is a trap!” ‘cause he can’t go outside, And young Anakin thinks this quarantine is a pain, But he shouldn’t go outside and he shouldn’t be trained. Then there’s B times two making BB8, Rollin ‘round his house putting on that COVID weight, Aunt Beru is in a stew and never washes her hair And then there’s Boba Fett…Boba Fett, where? Chewy’s writing a book but not just not writing every day Will someone get this walking carpet out of his own way And C3PO is dealing with his own frustrations Got Laid off from his job in Human Cyborg relations Yeah the C is for Count , and the D is for Dooku, E if for the Emporer who’s starting to go coo-coo And then out and about taking social distance walks Are hoards of little tiny masked adorable Ewoks, F is for Finn, and Finn’s doin’ fine, G for Grand Moff Tarkin even though he’s CGI, And General Grevious better to listen to physicians, Cause that dude’s got a hundred respiratory conditions, For bad guys this quarantine is really the worst G is also for Greedo, BUT H SHOT FIRST! (Han) But Han is not Solo, he’s co-Isolating, with J for Jar Jar Binks and his patience is fading, J is also for Jabba isolating in his barge He’s the hut in charge yes he’s E.X. Large, Drinking way too many of his favorite quarantinis, While the Jawas won’t stop arguing and screaming HOOTINI!, For K there’s Kylo Ren, yeah he’s still alive, Turns out that mask is actually an N95, And L is for Lando, isolatin’ in the sky With Lobot, his half robot headed right hand guy, And we won’t forget Luke, no nobody fear But Old Luke has been socially distant for years, Mace Windu stares out his Mace Window, Jammin to his Spotify lists of Max Rebo, And Maz Kanata, has been at home for so long, But still somehow got a cameo in this song, Then there’s Obi-wan Kinobe, The general the master, Who can’t get his sourdough bread to rise faster, His baking has him getting to the end of his rope, But he can’t completely lose it, because he’s the only hope, For P, Princess Leia who can’t cook but instead, Has been snacking on the buns on the side of her head, P for Padime Q for Queen Amidala, They’re the same person if you don’t know then you outta, Q! Qui Gon’s Gin is looking sloppy, he was such a handsome Gent Looking like he’s getting on mediclorians. And R is Rey who is so sad and bored, Dealing with the fact that her dad’s a Sith lord, Sitting there depressed in her doom in gloom, Doing Zoom therapy in her Jakku one-bedroom, R2’s at his lake house mostly staying inside Spending most of his time organizing his archives Takes occasional walks and the occasional fly While the neighbors all say…since when can R2 fly?! And then there’s S which of course stands for Sith, Who won’t stay home or socially distanth, Not aware, nor do they care if they get everyone sick, But that’s why they’re Sith lords, that’s kind of their shtick Now the Beyonce of Star Wars, I’m talking Sy Snootles, Is staying at home making zucchini noodles, And making the sauce is her best oldest chum, He’s vivacious and audacious yeah he’s just Salacious Crumb. T for Tundra Dowmeai, and U3po for U, When it comes to V, only one will do The big bad terror yeah I’m talkin’ bout Vader The original lover turned Original Hater The image of evil, The original baddie And this shouldn’t be a spoiler, he’s Luke and Leia’s daddy W’s for Watto, who had to close his store, And can’t get out to gamble on pod races anymore And for Y there is no guy outside our main man Yoda, Who’s floating around doing daily Jedi yoga, And being productive never sitting on his ass, Teaching his free online Jedi Master Class, There’s a couple of Z’s but no one you’d miss, And it’s way past time to get to the end of this, So that’s Star Wars from the A to the Z, May the Fourth be with you, and may the fourth be with me!