*My friend has diligently taken care of her wife through a grim diagnosis of stage 4 cancer. I was having a rough day and thought hearing her cheerful voice would lift my spirits. I left a message checking on her, her wife, and their eight-year-old adopted daughter. I woke up the next morning to her 3am response.
Sorry, so late. Having the worst days of my life. Here is a book for you. Wife dying of stage 4 cancer. Gets busted cheating with her female high school classmate. They have been cheating since 2020. Wife is placed in hospice.
My eyebrows furrowed as I reread her message. Was she actually offering me a storyline for my next book or was this reality? I texted her and told her to call me. I waited patiently as I imagined the stress of being a caretaker for a dying spouse coupled with the demands of motherhood. She returned my call that evening.Â
 I had known my friend to be mild-mannered and cheerful even during these challenging times. So, I was shocked when she went on a profanity-laced tirade. She was devastated as she spat the words out. She had given up her career to become a stay-at-home mom at the request of her wife.
Her wife whom she had been married to for thirteen years was having an affair with a high school classmate. And not only was her wife the breadwinner, but she was also the senior pastor of their church!Â
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My eyes widened in disbelief as she mimicked her wife when she spewed out her last wishes.Â
And I want to be cremated!
And I can’t wait to burn your ass up!Â
We burst into laughter at my friend’s response.Â
I begged her not to speak ill of her dying wife. I was floored when she hissed that the mistress was married to a man with two children. For some lesbians, having a relationship with a woman who is involved with a man is taboo. I could hear the glee in her voice as she described the husband’s agony upon learning of his wife’s affair. The fact that her infidelity was with another woman broke him. I asked how their eight-year-old daughter was handling the discord between her mothers. She repeated her daughter’s words to her other mother.
 Mommy, you have to go because you keep making Mama cry.
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My heart sank for my friend. I gently reminded her to not allow anyone to rush her grieving process. She was angry and yet, she was only in the beginning stages of grief. She had to go through the remaining three stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
I am recuperating from the most severe relapse since a diagnosis of Sarcoidosis in 2009. My friend’s situation reminded me that no matter what you’re going through, be grateful. There is always someone worse off.Â
She ended our conversation in disgust at having to care for her cheating wife as she transitions. I softly reminded her that her wife may not ever answer to her but surely, she will have to answer to God sooner than she expected.
Monika M. Pickettis a veteran of the United States Army. She is the author of the Pretty Boy Blue trilogy, available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Pickett is an advocate for the LGBTQ Community. Follow her on Instagram. Â
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