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My Alternative Lifestyle/Church Hurt: Why I Left the Black Church

*I was blessed with a strong sense of self-awareness at an early age. At five years old, I knew that I was different from other little girls. I liked girls and not boys. For most of my adolescence, I hid a dirty little secret, and it wasn’t that.  I was ashamed of not being raised […]

My Alternative Lifestyle: A Love Letter to My Granddaughter

*In honor of National Grandparent’s Day, celebrated on the Sunday following Labor Day, this is my affirmation of hopes, dreams, and unconditional love for my granddaughter.  My Dearest Keegan, You are the manifestation of a thousand dreams. I am in awe that you are finally here. Oftentimes, I would stare out the window and daydream […]

My Alternative Lifestyle/The Journey of Love: Becoming the One

*I often find myself daydreaming about the smallest things. Like … the tenderness in her voice when she calls to ask if I’ve eaten … the excitement and curiosity that warm my heart when she says she has a surprise for me. But then … reality sets in. I realize she is a figment of […]

My Alternative Lifestyle: BUT GOD: Part 2: Surrendering to His Will

*As the Benadryl dripped into my veins, euphoria set in. My pupils widened as warmth flowed through my body. I felt as though I was suspended in air … in time … as my neurologist’s words played over and over in my head: “I spoke with a retired specialist at Georgetown University regarding your case. […]

My Alternative Lifestyle: Lesbian or Thespian … Who Art Thou?

*How do you mend a broken heart after being betrayed? It’s a question that all of us struggle with at one time or another. Recently I tried not to get lost in my own grief as I listened to my best friend cry. She could barely speak. “But Monika, she said she wanted to spend […]

My Alternative Lifestyle: I Have Sarcoidosis, But Sarcoidosis Doesn’t Have Me

*Recently, I was disappointed to have turned down several invitations to celebrate Capital Pride in Washington, D.C. That weekend of events and a grand parade in the Nation’s Capital was supposed to have been my grand entrance as a published author. But I was exhausted. Sarcoidosis was taking it’s toll on me. I had just […]

My Alternative Life: Lesbian Daughters Long for their Daddy’s Too

*I found my passion as a volunteer for the Gender & Sex Development Program of the Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago. I was anxious as I helped the other volunteers set up for our first play date with transgender youth and their parents. My heart melted as I watched the parents […]