*Iyanla Vanzant has made a career out of helping people overcome personal issues that prevent them from living life to the fullest. Yet the famed life coach and author is finding herself on the other side of the situation when her youngest daughter Nisa transitioned.
As any parent knows, losing a child is one of the hardest things to accept, let alone move forward despite an overwhelming feeling of sadness. But Vanzant, who lost her other daughter, Gemmia, from a rare form of colon cancer on Christmas Day 2003, is making this holiday season an occasion to honor her daughters while also taking time to fully enjoy herself during the most wonderful time of the year.
When asked about handling grief over her daughters’ deaths, Vanzant viewed it as a “process of restoring wholeness” while coming to peace and being “whole within.”
“First, I had to define what healing means. I look at it as the process of restoring wholeness. Wholeness of mind, heart, and body,” the “Iyanla: Fix My Life” host told Essence. “Healing also involves being present and aligned with what is instead of hoping and wishing it was different. There is no amount of hoping and wishing I can do that will bring my daughter back. So, I had to figure out how to come to peace and be whole within myself, knowing she’s never coming back. For me, that’s just spiritual practice. I have no intention of spending the rest of my life feeling bad. I’m willing to feel good now even though my daughter is no longer here. Healing is about accepting things as they are and realizing what you need from moment to moment to be whole again.”
Vanzant’s comments come months after Nisa died on July 30. Although mourning Nissa and Gemmia can be a tough process, especially during the holidays, Vanzant revealed she will honor her daughters by focusing on their love of food and the dishes that brought them joy.
“Gemma died on Christmas Day, which was her favorite holiday. Her thing on Christmas was food. Forget the tree and the gifts, bring the food. So, I cook what she loved,” Vanzant shared. “Nisa loved to eat, so I will have the things she loved. And it’s not in sadness, but focusing on and remembering the joy the food brought them. Gemma loved macaroni and cheese, so plenty of it will be on the table. Nisa wasn’t at peace if I didn’t have string beans with potatoes, so we’ll have that on the table, too.
“The joy is what lifts us up. The regret and remorse is what tears us down,” she continued. “For anyone dealing with a loss this holiday season, I challenge you to do the things that you know brought that other person joy and focus on that instead.
Overall, the smell of the holiday season is what brings the occasion home for Vanzant, who revealed the two times when watching her calories was a moot point.
“I just love the smell of the Christmas tree. I do not do artificial trees. It just something about them, and it reminds me of Gemmia and when my children were little, “The R Spot,” podcast fixture confessed.” Of course, I look forward to eating the food. There are only two times each year when the calories don’t hit— Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I love it.
“I’m also looking forward to seeing my great-grandkids and the excitement in their faces,” added Vanzant. “But beyond that, I’m just looking forward to the end of this year. 2023 has been rough! So, I’m looking forward to 2024 and the new energy that it will bring.”
MORE NEWS ON EURWEB: Iyanla Vanzant Opens Up About Losing Daughter to Rare Colon Cancer
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