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Opinion/The Black Hat: When Black Women Date White Men, It’s Love; When Black Men Date White Women, It’s Betrayal



Alexis Ohanian - Serena Williams (Reddit)

Serena Williams and her fiance, Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of

*I’m getting straight to the point. Back in December of 2016, when the news broke of Serena Williams’ engagement to a white internet mogul, the tennis pro and habitual “swirler” received a thorough outpouring of support and congratulations from her fans, many of whom are female and African American.

In the same month, “House of Payne” actor Lance Gross posted a photo to Instagram of himself and a group of his guy friends getting cozy during a holiday retreat with their very attractive, and very fair-skinned (maybe white?) female companions. The outrage and animus sparked by this image was jaw-dropping to say the least, and highly hypocritical in comparison to the positive reaction that Williams’ engagement received. This dichotomy suggests that it’s permissible for black women to find “love” outside of their race, but when black men do the same, it’s perceived as an act of betrayal.

In 2014, actor Omari Hardwick was forced to defend the honor of his Caucasian wife after black women called her ugly all across social media. Earlier last year, Taye Diggs appeared on a daytime talk show and was pressured into defending his decision to marry a white woman. Hell, when Kobe Bryant married his Latin wife, Vanessa, in 2001, he was shunned by the black community and his parents.

In contrast, no one batted an eye when Lupita Nyong’o went public with her relationship to the perpetually-pale actor Jared Leto. When rapper Eve announced her engagement to British entrepreneur Maximillion Cooper in 2013 — yes, that’s his name — the reaction from her fans was gleefully positive. There were no complaints last year when actress Tika Sumpter announced that she was pregnant with a white man’s baby. Oh and let’s not forget, actress Zoe Saldana is married…but not to a black guy. As far as I know, her relationship hasn’t absorbed much, if any, criticism from the public. Clearly, there’s a deeper level of acceptance in society for black women who “swirl” as opposed to the other way around. It’s a gosh darn shame.


I spend roughly 30 minutes a day wasting time on Facebook — who doesn’t these days — and I always stumble upon a photo showcasing the prototypical black/white couple. These images usually feature a semi-attractive black woman whose lack of real hair has forced her to go “natural” and she almost always has her arms wrapped tight around some pinkish, frumpy-looking white guy — the type who avoids conflict, uses hand-sanitizer after he touches doorknobs and will provide a consistent paycheck every couple weeks. He’s what you call a “safe bet.”

When I see photos like these they usually come with a hyperbolic caption. Under one of the images I observed, the caption said: “After dating all these frogs, I have finally found my prince.” I’m still not sure, but it seems that by using the word “frogs” she was referring to black men. Had she instead used the word “monkeys” to describe her past lovers, I would’ve been able to reach a more definitive conclusion in reference to their ethnicity (I can make this joke because I’m black). I didn’t have a problem with the photo, and to be honest, I wasn’t offended by the caption either. Contrary to popular opinion, I’ve grown since 2013 when my published tirade against interracial dating went viral. I support black/white love now, but only when it’s sincere and not a product of self-hate and revenge.

What bothered me, though, were the dozens of gleeful responses to her photo. One of the women who responded said, “Fuck these niggas girl, go ahead and get your swirl on.” Another person said, “Love doesn’t see color, you two look beautiful.” “If black men don’t know how to treat you, don’t be loyal, get even,” said another.


Zoe Saldana - Marco Perego

Zoe Saldana with husband Marco Perego

I was flabbergasted — that’s right, I said flabbergasted — by how many sisters were compelled to leave comments on that interracial photo. I was even more surprised by what seemed to be an overwhelming consensus among these women to ditch black men in exchange for other racial groups. I could see love and admiration in the eyes of this woman as she clutched her white knight like he was the last Prada bag at a half off sale. The photo was eye-opening and the reaction it caused was even more enlightening. It all seemed so genuine. I thought to myself, “Wow, maybe black people have become mature enough to date other races without holding a grudge against each other.” But that revelation quickly came to a screeching halt.

The next day, I logged in to Facebook for my daily fix and I happened to come across a photo of a black man proudly embracing his Caucasian fiance (ain’t it interesting that blacks rarely consider romance with other races than White?) Anyway, this couple appeared to be genuinely happy together, much like the previous couple I mentioned. When I scrolled to the comment section, the reaction from observers, particularly black women, was startling. “Why [are] you with her fat ass,” one commenter wrote. “Coon,” said another. “With all these beautiful Nubian queens out here, it hurts that you’re choosing the white bitch”, wrote someone else.

For a second I was stunned. Before that moment, I had never witnessed such blatant examples of hypocrisy in all my life. The debater in me wanted to dive in that sea of disrespectful comments and leave a scathing one of my own. But even I know better than to start an argument with a black woman — it’s a lose-lose situation.

cory a haywood

Cory A. Haywood

The Black Hat is written by  Southern California based  Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog:, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood




  1. Juanita Dale

    January 10, 2017 at 7:52 pm

    This is hilarious! As a 53-year-old single, childless, and well-educated Black woman, I applaud young women who are willing to take a step outside. It’s hard. I spent my 20s, 30s, and 40s waiting for the right Black man. Black men with money are quick to step out with their short-lived careers in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. But check the stats: There are more Black women in college than any other ethnic group, and that includes Black men. Something’s got to give. There is nothing wrong with Black women wanting all that the white woman has been able to attain in terms of an educated spouse. I have never dated anyone without a college degree. What is wrong with wanting someone who might be able to challenge me in certain ways? The days of Black women marrying men with less education went out in the 1970s. There was a time when Black men stayed home to help their fathers with their farms. I know, my Dad was one of those men. But that’s not the case these days. More power to you, young sisters.

    • al

      October 3, 2017 at 3:41 pm

      “As a 53-year-old single, childless, and well-educated Black woman”

      you should probably keep your mouth shut. You are in no position to offer advice to any woman other than on how to be a spinster.

  2. Donna

    January 10, 2017 at 11:51 pm

    I wonder why Black women react with hostility when Black men date White women and doubt those relationships are based on love, but applaud Black women who date White men? How many times have we heard or read comments from Black men who blame Black women and the stereotypical traits of ALL Black women as the reason they reject us and refuse to date us? Google “why I refuse to date Black women,” and you will find your answer, it is not a mystery. Black women who date White men seldom blame Black men for their choice.

    I suspect that when these types of Black men who trash Black women accept responsibility for their past, poor relationship decisions and stop condemning all Black women because they chose wrong; I suspect that when these types of Black men own their own decisions, they will no longer need to justify their reasons for dating anyone they want to date, and their scapegoating of Black woman will stop. I think it is unfortunate that some Black men forget that Black women also wore chains, that we were also subjected to Jim Crow and we fight the same everyday battles that they do. Black men do not have to choose Black women as their love interest, but we don’t deserve their scorn because someone in their past, who had a big butt and a smile played them.

    • Josh Oliver

      July 31, 2017 at 4:23 pm

      LOL. Look at the comment above you. She’s doing EXACTLY what you just said black women don’t do.

  3. JD

    January 11, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    I guess women react that way because historically black women have been faithful to the black man, and in many ways still are. As a dark skinned woman I had never had a problem with black men until I was admitted into college. In school the black guys dogged the black women, and got with white women. I had never entertained the idea of being with a white guy until then. Not really in revenge, but the white guys were just nicer. Tried them once, and I will NEVER date a white guy again. too clammy, smell like fifi, and nothing going down in the bedroom. but any whoo, after I got out of school the pool of bm widened and I meet the person I’m with today. but that does not mean that its easy, there’s still a shortage of bm. i dont think i mind the thought of polygamy to save the black family.

    • al

      October 3, 2017 at 3:44 pm

      “I guess women react that way because historically black women have been faithful to the black man, ”


  4. Me

    January 14, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    How did I know upon reading this headline that the author would be none other than Mr. Sassy, buck, coon dance and black woman hater Corey Haywood? Lol.

    Anyway for the record, black women do not celebrate other black women being with white men and the vast majority of black women are not even attracted to white men. But there is a sense of vindication when we do see these types of relationships because black women have endured so much disrespect and humiliation from black men for so long. You are the ones who tell us and the world that women of your own race are physically unattractive and unpleasant, while worshipping other races of women and uplifting a Euro standard of beauty. You openly discriminate against black women, using our every flaw as your weapon to justify your desires for white women or “others”, yet are so easily willing to overlook those same flaws in other races of women. So at this point all I can suggest is man up and take a dose of your own medicine. I personally hope that more black women start realizing their worth and open themselves up to having relationships with “others”.


    • al

      October 3, 2017 at 3:45 pm

      “because black women have endured so much disrespect and humiliation from black men for so long.

      “You Lie !!!

      stop projecting.

  5. White Male

    May 19, 2017 at 2:33 am

    The difference is, white men actually respect women and take care of their wives. Whereas black men treat women like whores and will impregnate her and then leave.

    • little indian

      June 19, 2017 at 9:21 am

      You have white men that does exactly the same thing.

    • Linda Davis

      July 8, 2017 at 11:03 am

      I have to agree some of your statement even though there is a growing number of uneducated blue collar white women who are heading households. However, black men are notorious for making babies and leaving. Take a look at the black women heading households and you won’t find bi-racial children; they are black.

      • Josh Oliver

        July 31, 2017 at 4:37 pm

        Wow. You’re actually okay with his ridiculous and racist statement? That’s really sad.

        • al

          October 3, 2017 at 3:50 pm

          Black women only care about Black men when the men are dating other type of women ………………… other than that they could care less what happens to Black men.

    • Jaghost

      December 7, 2017 at 10:01 am

      Wow, can we say racist? I guess you also believe the black man is an oversexed maniacal criminal that will rape white women and kill every white person he sees.

  6. Linda Davis

    July 8, 2017 at 10:58 am

    First of all, Lupita Nyong’o has been dating Mobolaji Dawodu, GQ Magazine Fashion Editor since August 2016. Also for every 1 black celebrity female married to a white man there are at least 5 or more black males married to nonblack women. Over 25% of professional black men are married to nonblack women. So, stop lying about the issue. More than any other group of men in the world, black men are more likely to marry (and divorce) outside of their race. Also, black men tend to marry nonblack women who do not have a college degree or who are socially and economically compatible even in poor ass states like Mississippi where black men married to white women are three times that of black women married to white men. In addition, in Mississippi, most black men were married to white women who did not have a college education, unlike white men who were married to black women.
    This is a national trend, and Dr. Michael Eric Dyson was probably the first to write about this in his book the Dyson Reader. Black women only recently began to consider marrying other races because for far too long they have been hoping, praying, and waiting for a professional black man to come along, but that’s not the case.

    • al

      October 3, 2017 at 3:48 pm

      “Also for every 1 black celebrity female married to a white man there are at least 5 or more black males married to nonblack women. ”

      so what ??? what is your point ???

      “hoping and praying for a “professional man” ???

      How about any decent hardworking man who wants to build a life together ???

      GTFOH with that nonsense.

      I assure that those Black men marrying white women in Mississippi are NOT professional men.

  7. blackladdiebrady1953

    November 9, 2017 at 7:00 am

    That’s what happens when society dumbs down below the dull-normal level.WHO GIVES TWO CRAPS ABOUT THIS,ANYWAY??????

  8. Micky O.

    December 6, 2017 at 12:34 am

    Nothing wrong with a little cream in your coffee! Or, as the Latins say, “mejorar la Raza”.

  9. Lawrence Fearon

    January 3, 2018 at 11:25 pm

    Love who tf you want. I pity the fool trying to tell me what to do with my manhood. Who tf am I to tell the next woman what man to get with? That’s her own life.

  10. reality check

    March 11, 2018 at 5:17 pm

    I’m white and date all types of women. Sometimes blacks and whites just click, have good sex, good conversation and similar goals.
    Most ppl commenting here are typical American’s I.e simple people who are bored and miserable. They are obssessed with race because they dont have the education which woulld have taught them about other considerations. For those racilizing everything weather black or white YOU ARE projecting. By caring this much about other people YOU show insecurity/self hate and the question for you wheather black or white is : Why do you even care about other people’s lives?. Answer: You are: simple, broke, trashy folks who never had quality parents so go watch Jerry Springer, eat your cheap chinesse food, and stop having babies!

  11. Howard

    June 27, 2018 at 8:43 pm

    Why is this even an issue in the first place? Blaming race on either side for their choices to love just sounds bitter and silly. Love who you want, be with who makes you happy. If a black woman wishes to marry a white, Latino, Asian, European, it is her freedom to do so, just as a black man is free to date who he wants. This hatred is silly and vindictive. People blame others for being alone but they are the ones responsible for their own social condition.

    Have we not learned to understand each other’s differences and accept the unique nature of human choice and human decisions? What need is there to project our insecurities onto others? This is what keeps you alone, not the black man who is dating the Latino woman, or the black woman dating the Asian man. Jesus.

  12. Black Yoda

    July 4, 2018 at 9:32 am

    Damn, these comment only show how spot on the article is. Black women are so entitled an hypocritical.

  13. PoseidonBogard

    July 17, 2019 at 10:07 am

    I agree with the poster “Black Yoda” but also I would like to point out that White Men are also extremely entitled and hypocritical as well. They have been killing Black Men for just even looking at a White Woman, while they pursue Black, and all other types of NON White Women. We had an incident here in NYC, where a White Man by the name of James Harris Jackson traveled to NYC from out of town, so he can kill Black men and the reason behind his rage was, he was angry that Black Men were mixing with White Woman. He wound up killing an elderly Black Man for his rage. now I have never heard of the reverse doing such a thing. Black Men/White Woman has got to be the most HATED union, while other IR seem to be tolerable especially Black Women/White Men. Also YouTube is a great example of this. Notice how video’s of BW/WM romances are for the most part civil in the comments section…you do have some trolls, but as I said civil. BM/WW video’s receive the most racist, and evil comments that you can imagine, with ALOT of racist Whites calling the WW in the video a Mudshark, or a Coal Burner. I agree with Mr. Haywood but with a different outlook.

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Apple News

Is Pres. Elect Biden Obama’s 3rd Term? & What 44 Said About Black America’s Progress Under His Watch on ‘Breakfast Club’ (VIDEO)




Charlamagne Tha God - Barack Obama
Charlamagne Tha God - Barack Obama

Charlamagne Tha God – Barack Obama

*Attorney Antonio Moore discusses the recent Obama Breakfast Club interview during his Book tour.

Moore harshly critiques the interview of Pres. Obama performed by Charlamagne, DJ Envy and Angela Yee.

He also looks closer at President Elect Joe Biden’s cabinet picks and measures them again Barack Obama & Bill Clinton’s prior administrations.

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The Virtual United Negro College Fund Tour Heads to NY, DC & NJ on Fri & Sat-Nov. 20 & 21 (EUR EXCLUSIVE!)




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*African American students interested in going to college can attend the United Negro College Fund’s (UNCF) Fall 2020 virtual Empower Me Tour. Set for this Friday and Saturday (November 20 & 21, 2020), New York, District of Columbia, and New Jersey will be repped. (This year’s tour kicked off earlier this month in Wisconsin and Illinois). To register, go here.

The Empower Me Tour is an extension of the goals of the UNCF. Founded in 1944, the UNCF, a non-profit, has raised more than $5 billion and helped more than 500,000 students attend 37 private historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs).

The EUR caught up with Stacey Lee, the tour’s director for four years, who discussed the importance of the event.

“The UNCF is the nation’s largest provider of education support to minority students,” said Lee. “The Empowerment Tour has been executed for the past 12 years and last year along we offered over $12 million dollars in scholarships.”

MORE NEWS/RELATED: BMEE Authors: Urgent Steps Are Necessary to Address Implicit Bias in Early Education  

staceylee uncf

Stacey Lee, director of the Empower Me Tour. (Photo credit: UNCF)

Lee continued, “I think the great thing is that during these times, even with COVID-19, is that a number of corporations (Wells Fargo/P&/FedEx/Disney/Goldman Sachs) and donors have really been providing opportunity and financial access to our schools and students.”

The tour is packed with information and resources so that students and parents have the right tools to make informed decisions.

“It’s a free event that provides educational support, scholarships, interviews with colleges, empowerment, and information on how to get to and through college. We also provide this information for parents as well. We have a parent section that focuses on financial aid and the things you need to get your students to college.”

emt offering

Source: Empower Me Tour

Lee continued, “Sometimes we have students that don’t realize that they can attend college. They can receive scholarships. Some of them don’t even know what an HBCU is. So, it’s inspirational for me to see these students receive this information and the excitement that’s around this tour.”

In addition to college information, panel sessions on issues affecting the community will also take place. Legendary rapper Bun B will be part of a special My Black Is Beautiful panel. The panel will have discussions with girls and boys and the MC will lead the male portion.

“It’s about empowerment,” Bun B told the EUR. “It’s vital for us to lift each other up and amplify each other’s voices. We just talk about now what that role is in this COVID world. And with everything that we are seeing with young Black men on television, we want to keep them motivated and centered. We want to make sure that they are not discouraged in this moment.”

bun b 2

Legendary rapper Bun B is a panelist at the Empower Me Tour. (Photo credit: UNCF)

Ever since Kamala Harris threw her hat into the presidential race and elected vice president of the United States, a spotlight has shined on the fact that she’s an HBCU grad (Howard University) and member of the African American sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha. These facts are not lost on the UNCF.

“Kamala has really boosted people’s awareness about HBCUs and (African American sororities) and the type of people that come out of HBCUs. HBCUS have also provided so many people from science, mathematics, and engineering programs (STEM).”

Bun B added, “We have more than enough examples to show you how beneficial an education from an HBCU can be. So, there is no reason to not be a part of an HBCU because the world is just as available to you as it is for anyone else attending any other type of university.”

Register for the virtual Empower Me Tour on November 20 & 21, 2020 here. Spring tour dates will be announced soon. For general information on the United Negro College Fund, go here.

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(Photo credit: UNCF)

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Apple News

New Music Buzz: Jazzy Rita Shelby’s ‘Goodbye 2020’



Goodbye 2020 Jazzy Rita Shelby
Goodbye 2020 Jazzy Rita Shelby

After all that’s happened this year, it’s time to say Goodbye 2020. New single available by Jazzy Rita Shelby at most digital platforms.

*SB Music presents “Goodbye 2020” a new single for the times we are in.

“Goodbye 2020” is performed by Jazzy Rita Shelby and written by Miss Shelby (ASCAP) and Eddie Lawrence Miller (BMI).

It’s the perfect anthem to end a year that has impacted the globe.

Jazzy Rita Shelby Goodbye 2020 looking up - Copy

Jazzy Rita Shelby is fed up with this year and elated about her new single “Goodbye 2020.” Avail now from SB Music (Written by L. Shelby & E. Miller)

EURweb’s Jazzy Rita is also a prolific lyricist who has teamed up with Eddie Miller for “Goodbye 2020” because it was timely and convenient for the birth of a song such as this.

Eddie Miller is a coveted keyboardist & vocalist who performs regularly with Brian Culbertson and he’s the Rhodes Festival musical director. Jazzy Rita rose to notoriety as host & performer at The Starlight Jazz Serenade, an annual benefit concert in North Hollywood with an A list of stars.  As a teen Miss Shelby was inspired to write songs by the legendary David Porter.

This year has been a year like no other.  “Goodbye 2020” is an ode to the world for the year that we have seen and the hope that lies ahead.  Radio Programmers click here for adds.

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“Goodbye 2020” is released on the SB Music label and was recorded at Wishing Wells Studio in Canoga Park, CA.  Willie Daniels and Mildred Black perform background vocals along with Jazzy Rita.  The video is produced & directed by Jazzy Rita (LaRita Shelby), filmed & edited by Reggie Simon of Simon Vision Media, with wardrobe styling by Jazzy Rita and Poet Roni Girl’s Army Couture.  “Goodbye 2020” is available on most digital platforms.  Click here to listen on Spotify.


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