Tuesday, July 27, 2021

The Black Hat/We Gotta Do Better: 14 New Year’s Resolutions For Black People in 2020

Sean "Diddy" Combs Hosts CIROC The New Year 2018 Powered By Deleon Tequila
Diddy and friends bringing in the New Year (Getty)

*As we enter a brand new decade, one truism remains the same – n*ggas will always be n*ggas.  

Over the last 10 years,  I’ve witnessed blacks exhibit levels of fuckery that no other race has been able to duplicate. 

This assessment isn’t age or gender-specific …  it applies to ALL n*ggas – male and female, young and old. 

To be frank, we gotta do better – for the culture. It’s pivotal. The foolishness must cease as we journey into the next decade, or we’ll eventually drop to the bottom of America’s totem pole (where Mexicans used to be).

Just sayin’. 

After carefully analyzing the dysfunction in black culture, I’ve come up with 14 resolutions for Negroes to follow in 2020. 

Here’s the list: 

1) Black people, stop using Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and other platforms to document and promote your fuckery.

2) Black people, stop waiting in line to buy “Yeezy’s” and Jordan’s. Go to a job fair instead. 
3) Black people, Y’all N*ggas Gotta Stop Killing Each-other Over Chicken Sandwiches (Please!)
4) Black people, we must demand that every “original” black movie on Netflix be removed immediately (they’re f*cking terrible)
5) Black people, We gotta check Oprah for disproportionately targeting and defaming black men
6) Black men, paying child support won’t kill you. Just do it!
7) Black women, stop recording yourselves twerking while y’all kids are in the room
8) Black people, we gotta stage a “hair intervention” for Whoopi Goldberg, Stevie Wonder, LeBron James and Stephen A. Smith.
9) Black people, we should lock Future in a basement and force him to get a Vasectomy.
10) Black people, it’s time for you n*ggas to accept that Barack Obama is no longer the president. Move on – we’re in the Trump era now. God help us. 
11) Black people, stop bringing your own speakers to the gym – nobody wants to hear your effin playlist.
12) Black people, I think we can all agree – it’s time for us to cancel Antonio Brown.
 13) Black women (and gay men), for the love of God, please, STOP saying “yaasss” every time you get excited or see something you like. Find a replacement word.
 14) This goes without saying, Black people, we gotta do something about gun violence in our communities. The sh*t is getting out of hand. 

cory a haywood
Cory A. Haywood

The Black Hat is written by  Southern California based  Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog: www.enterthehat.com, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood

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