Wednesday, October 20, 2021

CORY HAYWOOD: Y’all Effin Up The Dating Game: A Letter to Simp Ass … Men

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Black couple hugged up at workout at gym - dreamstime - s_195567266
Dreamstime

*Dear Simps,

I know it’s rough out there – trying to get a date. First, you gotta approach these women, engage them in small talk, and then ask for their number. It’s a nerve-racking experience, and quite often, for many men, it ends with rejection and humiliation.

These interactions put women in the power position – because they essentially have men auditioning for their time and attention on a daily basis.

Think for a moment about the boost of confidence women get whenever they’re approached by men. They get a taste of what it feels like to be a celebrity without having a single iota of talent or substance.

Fellas, aren’t you tired of tap dancing for these women? Aren’t you tired of making yourselves slaves to their expectations and unpredictable emotions?

Well I have some advice for you ni*gas – grow some DAMN BALLS. Stop simping and start requiring more of yourselves, and women.

Let them sit alone at Starbucks without you always rushing to ask for their number. Try that!

In fact, I think it’s time for men to STOP approaching women altogether. We ain’t in the 1940s & 50s when ni*gas were doo-wopping on street corners to get laid. It’s 2021 – she ought to get her lazy, arrogant ass up and start a conversation with YOU.

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Young African American Couple Lifting Weights Together In GymMost of all fellas, for the love of GOD and all things holy, please, stop giving these women hugs at the gym. if she’s hugging you at the gym, it means she’s not f*cking you outside the gym. In fact, it’s the ni*ga minding his own business, doing pull ups in a private corner away from the crowd – that’s the ni*ga whose d*ck you’re smelling when you talk to her.

He’s giving her mouth sex, THE PIPE – and the ni*ga ain’t showering beforehand either. She’s giving him dome in the parking lot, after his workout, near the Burger King. Sweaty balls and all.

You just a pawn that she uses for validation and an ego boost. STOP! You f*cking up the dating game.

Look, I’m a personal trainer. I spend most of my days at the gym, helping my clients get in shape. I normally start my day before the sun rises, and I leave the gym at night, sometimes late – which means I have a lot of time to watch the comings and going’s of all the members.

Their interactions often remind me of teenagers on a high school campus, doing the absolute most to impress one another – no matter how desperate or obnoxious their behavior may seem.

But there’s a pattern of behavior that I’ve noticed from simp ass men.

When a decent looking woman enters the gym, especially if she’s there everyday, the same group of SIMP ASS NI*GAS trip over each other to give her attention, hugs, and dry conversation.

Building a stronger core with every twistIt’s like clockwork. I watch as these hyenas in tank tops and gold chains flock toward every girl willing to give them her time. It’s obvious that she’s thirsty for attention – not a date or a relationship.

You can tell based on the clothes she’s wearing – a sports bra mashing her boobs together, yoga pants hugging her ass and crotch, bedazzled fingernails, makeup. Some girls come in looking raggedy as hell and these simp ni*gas still flock like they’ve NEVER seen a woman before. And they be LOUD – laughing and joking obnoxiously as if that’s going to get them seen.

Despite their greatest efforts, these “pick me” ni*gas ain’t getting no coochie. They get hugs. They get waves goodbye. They get FOOLS GOLD. And worse, they consistently gas these women up like a diesel truck.

Even the plain looking girls think they’re “the sh*t” because they are constantly approached by niggas on the street, treated to free meals, manicures, and shopping trips, and they’re given hugs and free workouts from ni*gas at the gym.

They look in the mirror and see Beyoncé – not missing edges, bloated bellies, and cookout arms.

It’s because you simp ass ni*gas keep putting batteries in their backs, charging them up! STOP!

I know why y’all doing this sh*t – it’s because you’re afraid of being rejected by the girls you want. The 8s, 9s, and 10s. Instead, you go after low-hanging fruit – the 5s and 6s, thinking they’re less likely to reject you. But guess what? They rejecting y’all’s asses too! You know why? It’s because they know that for every one of y’all – there’s five more willing to buy them things and give them hugs at the gym.

The dating game is out of whack now because many of these women don’t even know their place in the hierarchy. They really believe they’re at the top of the dating pyramid – and they have consequently forced unrealistic expectations on you ni*gas. Lavish trips, shiny gifts, $300 beef at Salt Bae’s restaurant – that’s what these girls require – even if they’re mediocre with nothing to offer except p*ssy and problems.

But it’s not their fault. No, no, no. It’s conditioning. They’ve been given preferential treatment – by YOU. They’ve been exposed to videos on social media of Instagram models flaunting the trinkets and hand bags purchased for them by other simp ni*gas.

Cropped shot of three young people taking a selfie after yoga class
Getty

Even ball players and rappers these days spend THOUSANDS of dollars to procure opportunities with these women. I heard some rapper chick during an interview say – with a straight face – that a man has to come out of his pocket with at least 10k before he can even take her on a date.

I’m 100 percent certain that she’s telling the truth.

I want the ni*ga, or ni*ga(s), who gave her all that money to be evaluated by a professional – and not allowed to procreate.

Look fellas, I hate to say this – but we’re losing out here. These women have the game on lock and it’s getting worse each year. If you value your manhood and your pride, then please, stop this madness and meet her for coffee on the first date.

Take her on a walk at the park, or buy her a whopper at Burger King. You’re not an ATM or a source of validation for these women. Take them OFF of that pedestal you’ve had them on since you were in kindergarten. Start requiring them to give you just as much as you’re willing to give.

Most of all, stop distributing hugs at the gym – y’all ni*gas ain’t Care Bears.

Have more respect for yourselves, otherwise they’ll never respect you.

Cory A. Haywood
Cory A. Haywood

Southern California based  Cory A. Haywood is a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: coryhayw[email protected] and/or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood. His controversial book, “Coon Flakes: Musings of an Uppity Negro,” is available for purchase on Amazon ($4.49), barnesandnoble.com, and books.apple.com.

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