*Sexuality is fluid and many people do not understand that statement. Being fluid in sexuality is to have the freedom of loving and having a relationship with either a man or a woman. Loving a person of the same sex, contrary to the belief of others is not about preference but about having a feeling with someone you love intensely.
April Kirkwood is a relationship expert who has helped couples from different walks of life. She understands love can hit anywhere, anytime and regardless who that person is that we are having feelings with. As many people say, we cannot choose who to fancy.
It does not matter if they are both or not both women in a relationship what matters is that they want the relationship work and they are doing something about it. Hence, the way a relationship maneuver in the heterosexual world moves the same way with homosexuals.
April believes Lesbian dating is just like dating a guy is more like the same only you are dating a woman. Having trust, faith, love, compromise, and commitment are the basic principles that couples should focus to make a relationship work. These principles work for every relationship, not just for a guy to girl or guy to guy dating.
The difference of a woman maybe minimal to men yet it is these differences that makes a homosexual relationship unique. And those differences are what a person must learn to understand and most especially to accept before starting to go out with someone of the same sex.
Below are April’s Dating tips for a new Lesbian Couple
Health Needs
The needs of a woman do not change even though she is the one who is so-called wearing the pants in the relationship. She may be absent because she is having dysmenorrheal. She needs to go to the gym, hair salon, spa, have manicures, and pedicures just like the rest of the other girls do to take care of themselves.
Believe it or not there are women who tend to have a hard time accepting the fact that their partner is more into the said pampering time for themselves than they do. Nevertheless, this is a reality and this reality has to be accepted as it is how nature works for women.
Talk Topics
Different strokes for different folks still apply. A woman who is having an affair with someone of the same sex is still a human after all only the difference is that she loves a woman. Topics depend on the type of woman one is going out with.
Just like guys there are also intellectual women who are great with academe such as professors and lawyers. There are women who are good at fashion, arts and sports. It would be better to have a background check with regard to your date so that you will know how to act and what to talk about during the date.
Sincerity
Women generally are affectionate. Be honest with whatever you are talking about. Boasting about material things, professional attainments while on a date will not get the attention of a good woman. Instead talk about her interest, your interest, arts, nature, music, movies and others. Make sure that you know what you are talking about.
In case you really do not have any idea about the topic that your date is bringing up be honest enough to admit that you do not know much about it. Women love it more when their date is transparent to them. It is when one is completely honest to someone special to them that a strong faith or trust can easily be build up. Never lie.
Social Discrimination
Not everyone in the society has an open mind with same sex relationship. Unlike dating a guy, dating a woman means being subject to questioning, pitying, discriminating distasteful look from the people who does not understand the nature of being queer. Hence, one has to be ready to be discriminated and keep and open mind to understand the fact that some people will just not understand the situation.
Social discrimination may not go away but it can in time when people start opening their minds as well. Nevertheless, one does not need to wait for that time so to be happy. Live your life to the fullest they say. We do not live to please everybody around us. Satisfaction and contentment in life does not lie on what others think about us but it is how we live our lives.
About April:
April Kirkwood, M.Ed., has Masters degrees in both education and mental health counseling from Youngstown State University in Youngstown, Ohio. She has worked as a social worker in an inpatient hospital, as a therapist assisting treatment teams, and has led intake, discharge, group sessions and summer programs.
Kirkwood has over 26 years’ experience as a middle and high teacher and counselor in both Ohio and Florida. She has worked as the dean for a guidance department of a K-8 school specializing in PBS (Positive Behavior Support) and peer mediation. As well as a lead English instructor for Broward County Schools in Florida, where she was instrumental in mentoring new staff in the area of raising freshman and sophomore state scores in reading and writing.
She also has experience leading weekly court ordered parenting classes, directed at addressing school attendance issues; and has worked with inner city families as a liaison, uniting counselors, school staff and parents.
Her new journey takes her from the shoes of educator to boots of an author and speaker, grounded in her love of the mental health field as well as sharing her personal struggles with love. Kirkwood shares insights about seldom talked about learned behaviors of ‘lust’ and ‘romance’ during critical adolescent times in the growth of each of us. This relatively untouched developmental milestone is key to raising healthy sons and daughters, and to heal areas in our own hearts and minds that keep us stuck in repeating
dissatisfying romantic commitments. She has taken the road less traveled as a woman’s advocate bridging the world of psychology with spirituality as a therapist specializing in holistic practices empowering young and old to learn a new way of placing their hearts in the hands of the right kind of lovers.