Help!
QUESTION
What should I do? I live with a narcissist daughter who won’t stay home during the Pandemic. She thinks I am being paranoid when I tell her to stay home. She won’t self-quarantine so I’ve tried to stay in my room away from her. Whenever she hears me come out of my room, she comes out of her room to be near me. Conversations lead to arguments. What should I do? She’s an adult so I can’t do what the bible says and beat the devil out of her.
Answer
To Panic or Not To Panic… That Is The Question
“Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.” 1 Corinthians 3:18 NKJV
The prevailing question is how serious is the coronavirus and how seriously do we take the information that has been presented to us by the government and through the media?
The Bible has much to say about the times we are now facing. Jesus describes “signs of end times” in Matthew 24, and instructs us to be vigilant in Matthew 25. As children of God, we should not be surprised, but we should be aware and we are to teach our children accordingly. However, (and unfortunately) there is only so much you can do with a “grown child”. That in and of itself is an oxymoron, isn’t it! But we have to remember that the enemy will use times like these to cause division in his attempt to destroy families.
It is important to stress to your daughter that the CDC is a wonderful resource, and really the best resource to find answers to any questions she may have regarding the COVID-19 pandemic. Local city and county websites are a great resource for what’s happening in the community. Local news outlets can have good information as well but the key is to use common sense to be able to filter out the useful information and discard the rest.
If your daughter is a Christian, she may need a little help in understanding God’s promises to her. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God did not give us a spirit of fear and Philippians 4:6 instructs us to pray for the peace of God rather than be anxious. Sometimes I think that we just expect them so just know and understand what the Bible says because we raised them “in the church”. But, we have to be patient and take into account that the so-called millennial generation has a different mindset than we had. Sometimes that means trying a different strategy to relay information.
Mental health in the millennial generation is also a growing concern during this pandemic. In her article “Wake up millennials: Now is the time to prioritize your mental health”, therapist Tess Brigham advises “during such a tumultuous time, adopting strategies to protect your mental health (or preventing it from worsening) will not only help you become comfortable with uncertainty and variables beyond your control. It will also make your loved ones – and your community -much stronger.” The article also gives tips to help manage mental health (listed at the end of my segment).
Conversations lead to arguments
“If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18 NKJV
I recently came across an article that mentioned an alarming increase in domestic violence during the pandemic. Now, I am not suggesting that there is any violence in the home, but this is an example of how being forced (so to speak) to remain indoors can lead to increased tensions among family members.
Matthew 5:9 states “blessed are the peacemakers…”. My mother always told me that it’s not what you say, but how you say it. In this case, I believe that your approach that matters.Be mindful of your feelings and the tone of the conversation at hand. That sounds simple enough, but we all know that it’s not that simple with our young adults. One of the most frustrating things in life as a parent is when our kids don’t listen to us. But it is your job as a parent to give guidance. If she will not listen to you, recruit someone she respects to give it a shot. Respect is the key here. What I am suggesting here is if your usual methods are not working for you, do what you can to improve it (in order to keep the peace). If that does not work, recruit help.
Your daughter will need to understand that while she has the right to make up her own mind and form her own opinions, she does not have the right to antagonize you in your own home. The Bible’s promise of long life is attached to the command to “obey your parents” and to “honor your father and mother”. I pray that the Spirit of peace guides you. Good luck!
Tips for maintaining mental health (as listed in the article “Wake up millennials: Now is the time to prioritize your mental health”, by Tess Brigham)
- Take time to reflect on your own feelings.
- Stick to old routines (as much as possible).
- Go outside.
- Focus on things you can control.
- Embrace on the uncertainties and focus on the positive things.
- Stay connected.
- Count your blessings (and be thankful).
- Turn off the news.
- Seek professional help (if needed).
- Prayer
** Parentheses and #10 are my additions….Written by Maggie Berry
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