Disclaimer: The views, opinions, positions and language expressed by the author of the following article and those providing comments are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, positions of EURweb or any employee thereof.
*During a live broadcast of “The Real,” comedian and co-host Loni Love – who’s currently dating a white guy – foolishly remarked that black men aren’t capable of loving women properly or being faithful in relationships.
That’s obviously bullshit …
So, in the interest of keeping it one hundred, I have a confession to make. Yes! There are literally thousands of black men across America who lack emotional intelligence and respect for women.
In simpler terms, these niggas “ain’t shit.”
It’s a reality that gets reinforced every time a nigga buys a $200 pair of Jordans instead of paying child support. It’s a cycle that’s upheld whenever a nigga takes his girlfriend’s car to visit his side piece – and later returns the car with no gas in it. This is a phenomenon that … well, you get the idea.
On a personal level, I’ve seen my own friends get blowjobs from randoms while they casually spoke to their wives and girlfriends on the phone.
So again, yes, when black women publicly regurgitate their contempt for black men, it’s usually because they have either witnessed or repeatedly experienced the fuckery that niggas often perpetrate and try to justify. There, I said it.
However, let’s not get it twisted, anyone who’s ever taken a sociology or anthropology class knows there’s a MASSIVE difference between “natural” behavior and “learned” behavior.
It’s pseudoscience to even suggest that genetics play a role in why black men treat women poorly. That’s why it frustrates me whenever I observe black women use words like “trash” and “ain’t shit” to describe black men. These accusations would have greater merit if they were aimed at a specific group of assholes. But the expression “niggas ain’t shit” lacks specificity and on the surface, it suggests that ALL black men behave the same way. It’s no different than accusing black men of being instinctively violent, lazy, or shiftless. These stereotypes are deceitful and disingenuous, and they mainly apply to niggas whose names start with “Le” or “De” (like DeAndre, LeQuan, LeDarious, DeFibrillator, etc).
Again, I’m willing to concede two things: first, historically, niggas have demonstrated grandmastery in the art of “fuckboyology.” Second, we’re experts at conjuring up lies and excuses for our fuckery.
However, if the data surrounding single motherhood is correct, then one could argue that boys who grow up to be “shitty” are often raised by sisters who either tolerate the shittiness, ignore it, or encourage it themselves. That’s what I mean by “learned behavior” – it’s what happens when there’s no father (or equivalent) at home to properly teach manhood while his sons are young and impressionable. It’s also a consequence of “trash ass” mothers failing to groom emotionally intelligent men. We don’t crawl out of the womb trying to fuck up some poor girl’s credit. That’s an instinct of selfishness groomed and enabled throughout a boy’s adolescence by his mother. when that boy grows into a man, he’s a danger for any woman seeking a genuine emotional connection. But that doesn’t stop black women from pursuing these types of men anyway. In fact, oddly, despite their outward hatred for so-called “ain’t shit” men, many sisters welcome these niggas into their lives without caution for their own emotional health and well-being.
Later, after years of heartache, humiliation and regret, these women indiscriminately blame ALL men for how shitty they feel. It’s the dumbest and most avoidable problem in existence. Granted, some men do a very good job of hiding their fuckery. Women run into these traps all the time – and there’s no shame in making poor choices and learning from them. But if a woman consistently attracts – and entertains – scumbag men, then part of her growth process must consist of self-reflection and accountability.
Nevertheless, instead of working on themselves and improving their methods of selecting a partner, many if not most of these foolish ass girls embrace philosophies that demonize men – black men in particular. It’s a cycle that repeats itself with every new generation, often perpetrated by mothers and grandmothers who poison their daughter’s minds with sweeping generalizations about men. This mentality causes young girls to be cynical and spiteful before they get old enough to drive, let alone date.
As a result, they often ignore or mischaracterize good, well-intentioned men, and they force themselves to internalize a false reality that portrays women as victims and men as perpetrators of emotional terrorism. It’s a defense mechanism triggered by the male fuckery they claim to hate, but mysteriously can’t resist.
The consequence of this stupidity is a world that’s populated by emotionally damaged women who try to hide their pain with selfies, videos of themselves twerking – and when these indulgences aren’t working, they default to bashing men … black men.
The chatter is becoming stale and predictable.
These days, it’s a combination of black women ripping into the character of black men on social media, then pivoting to victimhood by accusing black men of abandoning them emotionally. “When will black men step up and start taking care of and defending black women,” is what I often hear sisters ask.
Well, here’s a counter-question – when will black women start thinking and behaving in ways that don’t require defending? More importantly, it seems arrogant and selfish for black women to demand protection from a group they constantly attack. Nevertheless, this mentality is par for the course if you consider how often black women complaining about what they’re “not given,” instead of asking what they can give. It points to why they flippantly criticize others and routinely cry foul when the criticism is reciprocated. It highlights why they call black men “trash” with no regard to how this remark may impact the self esteem of their fathers, brothers, uncles and children. Also, at the same time, the language sisters use to excoriate black men publicly is counter to the verbal restraint that other groups of women show when they discuss men.
I’ve never heard a single word of contempt uttered by Asian American women about men, especially their own kind. They don’t spread hate on Facebook or launch angry tweets about the males of their community because they value togetherness and unity. The same goes for white and Hispanic women who are more liberal with their verbiage publicly. Still, they express their views about men with a measure of restraint. It may not be genuine, but it’s tactical – to preserve the outward illusion of unity between themselves and their men. Sisters are the only group of women who take pleasure in chastising their male counterparts. It’s a symptom of the dysfunction rooted in black culture.
The Black Hat is written by Southern California based Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog: www.enterthehat.com, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood
Is Pres. Elect Biden Obama’s 3rd Term? & What 44 Said About Black America’s Progress Under His Watch on ‘Breakfast Club’ (VIDEO)
*Attorney Antonio Moore discusses the recent Obama Breakfast Club interview during his Book tour.
Moore harshly critiques the interview of Pres. Obama performed by Charlamagne, DJ Envy and Angela Yee.
He also looks closer at President Elect Joe Biden’s cabinet picks and measures them again Barack Obama & Bill Clinton’s prior administrations.
The Virtual United Negro College Fund Tour Heads to NY, DC & NJ on Fri & Sat-Nov. 20 & 21 (EUR EXCLUSIVE!)
*African American students interested in going to college can attend the United Negro College Fund’s (UNCF) Fall 2020 virtual Empower Me Tour. Set for this Friday and Saturday (November 20 & 21, 2020), New York, District of Columbia, and New Jersey will be repped. (This year’s tour kicked off earlier this month in Wisconsin and Illinois). To register, go here.
The Empower Me Tour is an extension of the goals of the UNCF. Founded in 1944, the UNCF, a non-profit, has raised more than $5 billion and helped more than 500,000 students attend 37 private historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs).
The EUR caught up with Stacey Lee, the tour’s director for four years, who discussed the importance of the event.
“The UNCF is the nation’s largest provider of education support to minority students,” said Lee. “The Empowerment Tour has been executed for the past 12 years and last year along we offered over $12 million dollars in scholarships.”
Lee continued, “I think the great thing is that during these times, even with COVID-19, is that a number of corporations (Wells Fargo/P&/FedEx/Disney/Goldman Sachs) and donors have really been providing opportunity and financial access to our schools and students.”
The tour is packed with information and resources so that students and parents have the right tools to make informed decisions.
“It’s a free event that provides educational support, scholarships, interviews with colleges, empowerment, and information on how to get to and through college. We also provide this information for parents as well. We have a parent section that focuses on financial aid and the things you need to get your students to college.”
Lee continued, “Sometimes we have students that don’t realize that they can attend college. They can receive scholarships. Some of them don’t even know what an HBCU is. So, it’s inspirational for me to see these students receive this information and the excitement that’s around this tour.”
In addition to college information, panel sessions on issues affecting the community will also take place. Legendary rapper Bun B will be part of a special My Black Is Beautiful panel. The panel will have discussions with girls and boys and the MC will lead the male portion.
“It’s about empowerment,” Bun B told the EUR. “It’s vital for us to lift each other up and amplify each other’s voices. We just talk about now what that role is in this COVID world. And with everything that we are seeing with young Black men on television, we want to keep them motivated and centered. We want to make sure that they are not discouraged in this moment.”
Ever since Kamala Harris threw her hat into the presidential race and elected vice president of the United States, a spotlight has shined on the fact that she’s an HBCU grad (Howard University) and member of the African American sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha. These facts are not lost on the UNCF.
“Kamala has really boosted people’s awareness about HBCUs and (African American sororities) and the type of people that come out of HBCUs. HBCUS have also provided so many people from science, mathematics, and engineering programs (STEM).”
Bun B added, “We have more than enough examples to show you how beneficial an education from an HBCU can be. So, there is no reason to not be a part of an HBCU because the world is just as available to you as it is for anyone else attending any other type of university.”
New Music Buzz: Jazzy Rita Shelby’s ‘Goodbye 2020’
*SB Music presents “Goodbye 2020” a new single for the times we are in.
“Goodbye 2020” is performed by Jazzy Rita Shelby and written by Miss Shelby (ASCAP) and Eddie Lawrence Miller (BMI).
It’s the perfect anthem to end a year that has impacted the globe.
EURweb’s Jazzy Rita is also a prolific lyricist who has teamed up with Eddie Miller for “Goodbye 2020” because it was timely and convenient for the birth of a song such as this.
Eddie Miller is a coveted keyboardist & vocalist who performs regularly with Brian Culbertson and he’s the Rhodes Festival musical director. Jazzy Rita rose to notoriety as host & performer at The Starlight Jazz Serenade, an annual benefit concert in North Hollywood with an A list of stars. As a teen Miss Shelby was inspired to write songs by the legendary David Porter.
This year has been a year like no other. “Goodbye 2020” is an ode to the world for the year that we have seen and the hope that lies ahead. Radio Programmers click here for adds.
“Goodbye 2020” is released on the SB Music label and was recorded at Wishing Wells Studio in Canoga Park, CA. Willie Daniels and Mildred Black perform background vocals along with Jazzy Rita. The video is produced & directed by Jazzy Rita (LaRita Shelby), filmed & edited by Reggie Simon of Simon Vision Media, with wardrobe styling by Jazzy Rita and Poet Roni Girl’s Army Couture. “Goodbye 2020” is available on most digital platforms. Click here to listen on Spotify.
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