Thursday, June 13, 2024

Psychotherapist Breaks Down Mother-Son Enmeshment – Impact on Future Adult Romantic Relationships | WATCH

Black mother and son - Depositphotos
Mother and Son – Depositphotos

*The taboo connection between Black men and their mothers (mother-son enmeshment) is getting a spotlight for discussion, courtesy of Ashley “Ley” Pointer. According to the psychotherapist, the unhealthy and out-of-the-norm connection may have a far-reaching impact on Black men who struggle with adult romantic relationships.

Pointer cites her experience with Black male clients as the reason behind her findings.

Bringing her views onto social media, Pointer detailed how emotional support sought by Black mothers from their sons potentially harms their child’s future as an adult when they are involved in romantic relationships.

“Men struggle in romantic relationships because they’re still in one with their mothers,” the Infinity Noire founder and lead therapist stated in a clip posted on her Instagram page. “Because Black women often– we settle as being single or with someone who does not meet our emotional needs, we end up training our sons to be a companion, and we compliment him for all how he’s meeting our needs.”

“Like, ‘you shole take care of your mama. You shole love your mama.’ And so we end up psychologically training our sons to be in emotional relationships with us,” Pointer continued.

Noting how vital a mother-son relationship is in a man’s life, Pointer mentioned that an unhealthy emotional connection between mother and son becomes the “byproduct” of “black male rape culture.”

“We are teaching our sons how to ‘service you’ and to ‘be a man,’ and he’s 8,” she said

According to Madame Noire, Pointer’ described enmeshment or “emotional incest,” which can impact a child’s adult life upon experiencing romantic relationships. The site went on to reference Psych Central’s finding, stating child victims of enmeshment will ultimately avoid intimacy or feel a need to rush intimacy in the child’s adult life.

“There are various ways a mother forms enmeshment with her son, from giving him unnecessary details about her love life (who she is having sex with or what’s happening sexually) to speaking ill of the child’s father and placing the financial responsibility on the son (under 18) and not the boyfriend or father,” Madame Noire reported, adding that sexual abuse in some cases can come from the abnormal attachment

While discussion can be created from the issue of enmeshment between a mother and son, it has to be said that reports and statistics on the number of Black men who have been sexually abused may be inaccurate, due to many unreported cases.

“In many homes and social circles, the topic is still avoided — it’s taboo,” Robin D. Stone, a licensed New York City mental health counselor and childhood sexual abuse survivor, according to Counseling Today. “In some cases, men haven’t shared with anyone that they’ve had this experience, that they have this history.”

Although it wasn’t discovered until they are romantically involved with someone, some Black men are not aware of the sexual abuse. Yet, psychological scars remain with the silence.

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