Deb Antney Gets Candid About Depression, Family Therapy and Clout Chasers [EUR Exclusive]

*Tammy breaks her silence about how the coronavirus has wreaked chaos over their life on the season finale of “Waka & Tammy,” TONIGHT (April 16) on We tv.

This season has followed hip-hop sweethearts Waka Flocka Flame and Tammy Rivera as they navigate the challenges of married life; meddling in-laws, raising a teenage daughter, remodeling their home, and building Tammy’s bustling music career.

We caught up with Waka’s mother, entertainment manager Deb Antney, ahead of the finale episode to dish about the show and family dysfunction. 

We also have an exclusive look Tammy & Waka at home during quarantine, where Tammy recounts the downward spiral into her illness. Elsewhere in the episode, Deb’s meddling ways interfere with Tammy’s dreams.

Check out the clip and our Q&A with Ms. Deb below. 

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Fans have watched Waka and Tammy air out their dirty laundry on several reality shows over the years, and oftentimes, you’ve been right there to help mediate. This season, Waka opens up about needing personal therapy.  Does reality television overall feel like therapy sessions for your family? 

DEB: Doing reality TV has become a therapy mechanism for me, because when you really get to look back, and see some of the things that’s going on, you can see your dysfunction. You can see where things are not right because we don’t really hide. When you see us, you see us in rare form.  Also, when he expressed going to therapy, I started blaming me. Being a single mother and raising those boys was not easy. And you know, living in New York at that time, it was very, very hard for us. New York was very rough then also, so you had to keep up with those times. I had no time to show emotions and feelings and plus they was boys and the stigma they had back then was much different from what people are comfortable with now. So if they wasn’t rough and tough, you know what the sayings was. So I was very stern and very rough with them. I didn’t show a lot of emotions, although everybody knew how much I loved my kids. But I wouldn’t show a lot of emotions, and they was going through something. I lost two sons and with my first son, I never sat down with him. I never discussed anything. So with some of the things that (Waka) was going through, I was self-blaming. I started to feel responsible for some of these things. So to answer your question, I feel we all need therapy. We’ve all been through a lot of traumatic things. For me, I suffered with depression and I wanted people to know that. I wanted to invite them into my world. I wanted them to know who Debrah Antney really is. 

There’s this moment in one episode where you open up about feeling bad about raising your kids with tough love, and later during Waka’s therapy session, he describes you as “genuinely tough. ” When you watched that moment, what were you left feeling after hearing him say that? Did it bring back memories from your past that you regret?

Let me tell you this, one thing that I don’t do is live in a lot of regret because I have issues and that will take me back somewhere. But I’d already went through stuff (in) confessionals, where we have to talk about the episode, and there were a couple of times that I broke down (because) I realized when it came to talking about therapy, I jumped to conclusions. I missed what my son was trying to say to me. I really didn’t listen to him. I was missing it. And I cried right then and there and I had to call him. So I’ve gone through things, more than you guys know. I know I have to work on these things and I don’t have to stay as guarded. 

Being in the moment and filming these experiences with your family is one thing, but watching it playback with the viewers, I imagine, conjures up entirely different emotions. Have you learned anything about yourself while watching some of these emotional scenes each week?

I have sweetie. Trust me I really really have, and it’s like “Debbie is okay.” I’m always guarded sometimes in some of these scenes because, before we were on tv, you have to be very careful because you don’t want something else to come that’s not what you meant, you know what I’m saying? And you really do have to watch yourself. You really start doing some self-inventory when you see these things like “wow, I really could have done this better” or “Dang, did I really just do that? Did I really just say that and what was I going through at that time?” or “What was happening?” And a lot of the time I have reflections and I say “What the hell was I going through?”, like… what was I going through? 

There’s a moment where Waka is telling his therapist how he has to watch his back; keeping an eye out for people hoping to take advantage of him. I wonder if you feel the same way considering the influence you have in hip-hop, within the culture? Do you find that you have to watch out for clout chasers; people who want to get close enough just to use you for that ride to the top?

Oh my gosh. It’s like your preaching to the choir right now.  It’s so bad. This has became a very lonely world for me. Like, people that I love, they change on you. Like, you don’t know anybody anymore because everybody wants to be somebody and unfortunately, everybody wants to do music; everybody has a hidden agenda. And you do have to look out for yourself because we are very vulnerable people; as hard as we are, we love hard. Like, we love hard. If I take you in, you best really need to know that your IN, and you got me. Period. I don’t want to have to stand guard all the time and I don’t want to look at everybody like you’re getting over. I don’t wanna feel like that. But unfortunately, this is how it is. 

You don’t know who is who today. You just don’t know. And one of the things, with what we’re going through right now, with COVID-19 is that, when we come into this new world, it’s almost like a New World Order. Like, things are going to change and I hope that things change because it has drastically changed in this world now and how people are. There’s no loyalty, people have no respect for one another; and it’s all about “what can you do for me and what can I get out of you?” And we don’t care about hurting one another today. Those things hurt. So yes, we always have to stay guarded now and it has become very lonely but it’s fulfilling in the same way because we still have each other. 

Thank you for saying that. I was just telling somebody the other day when we come out of this COVID-19 pandemic, we are going to see a shift in society…

Change, yes…

A total restructuring of society. 

Right.

For inquiring minds who want to know: How does she do it? How do you manage this seemingly rock hard exterior while at the same time be fearless in sharing your vulnerabilities? 

As a child I was always told “failure is not an option”.  So even when I want to tuck, I can’t. I do go into my closet and have conversations with that (woman) in the mirror and I have to check her at times and I have to deal with her and I have to watch her shed tears,  so I have my vulnerable moments and I go through more things than people know. 

One time it was shameful for me to come outside because of what people did to me during those times, with rumors and people writing stuff and they don’t know me. I don’t retaliate back because I don’t really care. I’m not going to be combative with people. I stay away from the internet a lot because I don’t want to be controlled and I don’t want to see the drama, the ugliness. I hate that. I just don’t do it. And that keeps me all right. I don’t like gossip. I don’t do gossip and that keeps me good. And I’m not failing. I have a mission to accomplish. I have a legacy that I have to leave behind. So I have no time to really get into a whole bunch of stuff, even when I’m depressed, I force myself through and I’m still working. 

Last question , what’s on your bucket list? 

I’m happy you said that. I just obtained the WFLA, The Atlanta Amazons which is a women’s football team; a real tackle, eleven on eleven of real teams. But this COVID-19, and because of what we’re going through, it kind of stopped some things. But it stopped in a good way because I’m not an expert on football and it gives me time to learn. It gives me time to put a real team together and I can catch people who have all the time in the world now, and I can do this right. So the football team and my radio station are my two things I’m moving forward with.

I know tonight is the last episode of “Waka &Tammy,” and I know you can’t tell me anything about how we’re going to wrap up this season…

No, but you have to watch. It’s really, really good and just pray for us that we get another season where we really can open up and do more things. 

Thank you so much and continue to be safe. 

Thank you sweetie.

Catch the season finale episode of  “Waka & Tammy: What The Flocka,” airing Thursday, April 16 at 10pm on WE tv.

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