Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions expressed by the author of the following article and those providing comments are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, or positions of EURweb or any employee thereof.
*Look, I’m getting tired of y’all complaining. No, for real. It’s getting old. Every time I hear y’all complain about men, especially black men, my brain conjures up an image of some old, crusty ass ham sandwich.
That’s how I feel about your complaints – they are stale, crusty, dusty, musty, and most important, they aren’t rooted in truth. If y’all were honest, you would admit that you knew the nigga was no good when you met him.
Here’s an example. I’ll call “him,” Dayquan.
MORE NEWS ON EURWEB: FAMU Launches Investigation After Graduating Student Poses Nude On Campus In Viral Pics
When you met “Dayquan” inside Popeyes Chicken, you overheard him asking the cashier if he could buy a three-piece dinner with his EBT card.
Before the cashier could answer, he turned and saw you.
“Sup, bitch? Can I get yo number?” The rest is history.
Dayquan had 3 baby mamas, a felony, no evidence of a job or consistent income, he consistently wrote “your” instead of “you’re” when he texted you messages from his prepaid phone, his facial hair was nappy, and his skinny jeans were actually just 5 sizes too small. He couldn’t afford larger pants.
Despite these RED FLAGS, you still wanted him. You CHOSE that nigga. He didn’t have a job. He didn’t have a car. He didn’t have a plan for you or his life. All he had waiting for you was DICK when you’d get home from work.
After years of birthing his children and waiting for him to get his act together, you finally decided to leave.
Good for you.
Except … oops, instead of learning your lesson from the disaster, the next man you selected was EXACTLY the same.
You couldn’t help yourself – he was “too fine” to pass up. And the dick? Oh, that nigga hit you with more pipe than a construction worker.
Once again, after giving birth to his bastards, waiting for him to come around and make you an honest woman, you eventually decided “I can do bad all by myself.”
And you left.
But now you’re on social media complaining.
“Where have all the good men gone?!”
“I’m tired of raising these kids alone.”
“Why aren’t men stepping up and being providers?!”
“F*ck these niggas!”
“I know God will help me through my struggle.”
Woman, please!
God ain’t helping you. He tried before. He sent you a “nice guy.”
A “good man.”
But the poor guy didn’t have enough edge. He was too boring, too simple. He wasn’t tall enough, cute enough, or hood enough. He didn’t make enough money, or dress the way you wanted.
So you ghosted him.
Or, he approached you one day and asked for your number, but the 304 in you couldn’t fathom being with a “square”. So you shunned him, lied and said you had a boyfriend, or maybe you ignored him altogether.
Or … you let him take you out for dinner, you burned through his cash, and then you
went back home to get your back blown out by Dayquan’s broke ass.
That’s right – I know y’all too well … because I used to be Dayquan!
The cycle keeps repeating itself.
Sisters, you KEEP CHOOSING THE WRONG MEN. Y’all keep digging at the bottom of the barrel, sifting through a dirty pool of the same trifling niggas, and when you get burned – sometimes literally – there’s no impulse that causes you to rethink your decisions.
What’s the definition of insanity?
It’s doing the same shit OVER AND OVER again expecting a different result. That’s you! You keep choosing the same niggas expecting them to be good fathers, good boyfriends, or even good husbands. That’s a damn fantasy! Open up your crusty eyes and take a good look at REALITY.
If you’re single with children from a no-good nigga, that’s your fault.
If you’re in a relationship with a man who refuses to work, or he simply can’t keep a job – that’s your fault!
If he cheats on you, leaves and never comes home, if he treats you with disrespect, and you tolerate it … then I’m sorry, that’s YOUR FAULT.
Make better choices. Stop dating Pookie and find yourself a Carlton. You have the power in this scenario to be in a happy, loving relationship, or a terrible one.
Most black men will treat you right. Love you. Support you. Provide.
Stop dealing with the 10 percent of men who won’t.
It happens all the time – one nigga has 5 baby mamas on the same block in his neighborhood. It’s madness!
So again, sisters, shut the hell up, stop complaining, and make better choices. Choose better men. You aren’t victims. You just SUCK at picking the right guys.
Do better.
Southern California-based Cory A. Haywood is a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog: www.enterthehat.com or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood
We Publish News 24/7. Don’t Miss A Story. Click HERE to SUBSCRIBE to Our Newsletter Now!
