Saturday, August 13, 2022

Cory A. Haywood: Sisters, if Y’all Would Stop Choosing the Same Ol’ Trifling Ni**as, You Wouldn’t be Raising Kids Alone!

Woman pissed off at boyfriend - Depositphotos
Woman pissed off at boyfriend – Depositphotos

Disclaimer: The views, opinions and positions expressed by the author of the following article and those providing comments are theirs alone, and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, or positions of EURweb or any employee thereof.

*Look, I’m getting tired of y’all complaining. No, for real. It’s getting old. Every time I hear y’all complain about men, especially black men, my brain conjures up an image of some old, crusty ass ham sandwich.

That’s how I feel about your complaints – they are stale, crusty, dusty, musty, and most important, they aren’t rooted in truth. If y’all were honest, you would admit that you knew the nigga was no good when you met him.

Here’s an example. I’ll call “him,” Dayquan.

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Woman pissed off at boyfriend
Upset Couple After Fight Dispute, Making Decision of Breaking Up. – iStock

When you met “Dayquan” inside Popeyes Chicken, you overheard him asking the cashier if he could buy a three-piece dinner with his EBT card.

Before the cashier could answer, he turned and saw you.

“Sup, bitch? Can I get yo number?” The rest is history.


Dayquan had 3 baby mamas, a felony, no evidence of a job or consistent income, he consistently wrote “your” instead of “you’re” when he texted you messages from his prepaid phone, his facial hair was nappy, and his skinny jeans were actually just 5 sizes too small. He couldn’t afford larger pants.

Despite these RED FLAGS, you still wanted him. You CHOSE that nigga. He didn’t have a job. He didn’t have a car. He didn’t have a plan for you or his life. All he had waiting for you was DICK when you’d get home from work.

After years of birthing his children and waiting for him to get his act together, you finally decided to leave.

Good for you.

Black Couple (unhappy-arguing) - iStock
Black Couple (unhappy-arguing) – iStock

Except … oops, instead of learning your lesson from the disaster, the next man you selected was EXACTLY the same.

You couldn’t help yourself – he was “too fine” to pass up. And the dick? Oh, that nigga hit you with more pipe than a construction worker.

Once again, after giving birth to his bastards, waiting for him to come around and make you an honest woman, you eventually decided “I can do bad all by myself.”

And you left.

But now you’re on social media complaining.

“Where have all the good men gone?!”
“I’m tired of raising these kids alone.”
“Why aren’t men stepping up and being providers?!”
“F*ck these niggas!”

“I know God will help me through my struggle.”

Black couple arguing - Depositphotos
Black couple arguing – Depositphotos

Woman, please!

God ain’t helping you. He tried before. He sent you a “nice guy.”

A “good man.”

But the poor guy didn’t have enough edge. He was too boring, too simple. He wasn’t tall enough, cute enough, or hood enough. He didn’t make enough money, or dress the way you wanted.

So you ghosted him.

Or, he approached you one day and asked for your number, but the 304 in you couldn’t fathom being with a “square”. So you shunned him, lied and said you had a boyfriend, or maybe you ignored him altogether.

Or … you let him take you out for dinner, you burned through his cash, and then you

went back home to get your back blown out by Dayquan’s broke ass.

That’s right – I know y’all too well … because I used to be Dayquan!

The cycle keeps repeating itself.

Woman pissed off at boyfriend
Upset Couple After Fight Dispute, Making Decision of Breaking Up. – iStock

Sisters, you KEEP CHOOSING THE WRONG MEN. Y’all keep digging at the bottom of the barrel, sifting through a dirty pool of the same trifling niggas, and when you get burned – sometimes literally – there’s no impulse that causes you to rethink your decisions.

What’s the definition of insanity?

It’s doing the same shit OVER AND OVER again expecting a different result. That’s you! You keep choosing the same niggas expecting them to be good fathers, good boyfriends, or even good husbands. That’s a damn fantasy! Open up your crusty eyes and take a good look at REALITY.

If you’re single with children from a no-good nigga, that’s your fault.

If you’re in a relationship with a man who refuses to work, or he simply can’t keep a job – that’s your fault!

If he cheats on you, leaves and never comes home, if he treats you with disrespect, and you tolerate it … then I’m sorry, that’s YOUR FAULT.

Woman pissed off at boyfriend - Depositphotos
Woman pissed off at boyfriend – Depositphotos

Make better choices. Stop dating Pookie and find yourself a Carlton. You have the power in this scenario to be in a happy, loving relationship, or a terrible one.

Most black men will treat you right. Love you. Support you. Provide.

Stop dealing with the 10 percent of men who won’t.

It happens all the time – one nigga has 5 baby mamas on the same block in his neighborhood. It’s madness!

So again, sisters, shut the hell up, stop complaining, and make better choices. Choose better men. You aren’t victims. You just SUCK at picking the right guys.

Do better.

Cory A. Haywood
Cory A. Haywood

Southern California-based Cory A. Haywood is a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: and/or visit his blog: or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood




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