Monday, December 6, 2021

Hey Bro, At least You Still Got Muscles: An Open Letter to Derrick Jaxn

Derrick Jaxn (Instagram)
Derrick Jaxn (Instagram)

Dear Mr. Derrick Jaxn,

You good, bro?

No, for real … are you okay? Black Twitter is ripping you to pieces right now.

You like a buff-ass piñata – everybody taking a swipe at your reputation on social media.

I just wanna encourage you to stay strong, brother, keep your head up.

I know things probably seem pretty bad right now, but after some time passes, I’m sure you’ll be just … oh who am I kidding. Nigga, you in trouble. Damn!

Derrick, I want you to raise your dominant hand – I’m assuming it’s the one you used to squeeze your wife’s arm off during that apology video you and her released. I saw her fingers turning blue from that kung fu grip you used to keep her from walking out the room.

Anyway, raise your hand Derrick … slowly … don’t put NO LOTION on it. I want your hand to be ashy and crusty.

Once it reaches your face, I want you to cock that hand back and slap yourself!

Slap da fuck out yourself, Derrick!

MORE FOOLISHNESS ON EURWEB: NFLer Deshaun Watson Facing 14 Lawsuits for Sexual Assault, 24 Total Accusers [VIDEO]

Derrick Jaxn - Cheats (YouTube)Derrick, you need to slap yourself for 5 reasons:

1) You had your wife in that video wearing a struggle bonnet, no bra, and some reading glasses she purchased from “I wanna look like Rosa”

2) You violated “bro code” by intentionally throwing men under the bus just to prop yourself up as a morally superior, God-fearing relationship guru.

3) You pandered to women and manipulated them into believing that you had their best interests at heart, when your intentions were clearly to exploit and profit from their ignorance and emotional trauma.

4) You made boatloads of money selling books, hosting seminars and giving advice on YouTube, but you never used any of that money to buy yourself a damn recording studio.

5) You created a brand that focuses on healthy, monogamous relationships, but instead of living what you preach, you succumbed to the carnal pleasures of being a successful black male.

In other words, you let a THOT (or several thots) infiltrate your marriage, and blow up your empire!

Derrick, let me explain to you why there are so many men – especially black men – celebrating your fall from grace at this moment.

It’s not because we think you’re a bad guy.

In fact, we don’t even care about you cheating on your wife – repeatedly, while you encouraged your fans – well, ex fans now – to kick their cheating men to the curb.

We ain’t even tripping about that reaction video you just put out – even though it’s of you reacting to … never mind. 🤦🏾‍♂️

Derrick, you wanna know why you’re hated by so many black men? It’s not because you’ve spent the last 6 years hustling women out of their money.

It’s because you trashed black men – over and over again – as if you were better than the rest of us.

That’s why.

You’re the golden standard for simp ass niggas everywhere who make a living on social media bashing other men to gain acceptance and attention from women.

Derrick, not only have you spent nearly a decade bashing black men – because let’s face it, black is your primary demographic – you’ve also contributed to a culture that demonizes traditional masculinity.

Adding to matters, during your videos and seminars, you’ve never attempted to hold women accountable for the toxicity and drama they bring to relationships. If anything, you make excuses for them.

It’s one-sided.

If you were even remotely objective with your assessments of heterosexual relationships, you’d have plenty of men defending you right now. We typically protect our own – even when one of us messes up.

It’s “bro code.” We stick together.

Derrick, you’ve shown unwavering bias to women over the years, you’ve manipulated their insecurities, and you’ve capitalized on opportunities to expand your brand.

Frankly, I’m impressed by what you’ve accomplished (albeit it fraudulent ).

Nevertheless, with your various indiscretions exposed to the public, it proves one simple thing – despite all that bullshit you’ve been preaching, yo ass is a dog too – just like the rest of us.

But hey, don’t worry – UPS is always hiring, and there are plenty of construction jobs you’d be perfect for.

Good luck

Cory A. Haywood

Cory A. Haywood, is a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog:, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood



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