*“Daily Show” host Trevor Noah made time during his show this week to debunk some of the disinformation being shared across social media about the coronavirus. He also offered some advice to Americans who are freaking out over the coronavirus infection spreading across the nation.
“Some people are letting their panic make them dumb as sh*t,” Noah said before showing clips of people fighting over toilet paper, Huff Post reports.
“I feel like people in First World countries don’t know what to panic about,” he said. “Toilet paper? Are you sh*tting me?”
Noah then offered some other options.
“You can use newspaper, you just rub it together, this is a true thing. You can use paper towels,” he said. “Hell, everyone in America has a dog. Push comes to shove, you wipe your ass on the dog.”
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He also slammed possible cures for the coronavirus that folks are suggesting on social media.
“Drinking bleach, snorting cocaine and masturbating is not the way to cure corona,” Noah said. “It’s the way to kick off the most rock-and-roll party of your life.”
But he joked that masturbating might help. “If you stay in and you do that all day, you’ll probably have less chance of catching the virus,” he said. “If the CDC really wants people to self-quarantine, forget the Purell. They should just be handing out lotion.”
In related news, Noah’s “Daily Show” will not tape with an in-studio crowd (for the foreseeable future) due to concerns over the coronavirus pandemic.
According to The Wrap, Noah paid tribute to his final “Daily Show” live audience with a farewell song on Thursday’s show.
Here are the lyrics:
“Is it still a joke, if no one laughs at it?/Am I still a host, if I’m just standing in an empty room?/Audience, this is for you/Time for social distancing/Pack your things and go/Just know that I’ll be waiting for you to come back to the show/To the ones who stood and the ones who clapped/I’ll even give a shoutout to the haters who just sat there and never laugh/It’s the ones who cheered and the people who loved to wave/I’ll even miss those ones who seemed to get all the jokes too late.”
“You know, I’m even gonna miss those people who forgot to turn off their phones during the show,” he continued. It would mess me up and spoil jokes, but, you know, I liked hearing the ringtones, it was so retro.”
“I’m gonna miss those guys who love to explain the show/The people with the weird-ass laughs are the ones I’ll miss the most/The guy who came to kill me, but then I won him over with my jokes/The fans who came from Africa and just wanted to hear about home.”
Noah ended with: “It’s time for quarantine, y’all. I can’t wait ’till this is over and the virus is beat and all your asses are back in those seats. I love you guys.”
Scroll up and hear more from Trevor Noah about the coronavirus toilet paper panic via the clip above.
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