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*During a live broadcast of “The Real,” comedian and co-host Loni Love – who’s currently dating a white guy – foolishly remarked that black men aren’t capable of loving women properly or being faithful in relationships.
That’s obviously bullshit …
So, in the interest of keeping it one hundred, I have a confession to make. Yes! There are literally thousands of black men across America who lack emotional intelligence and respect for women.
In simpler terms, these niggas “ain’t shit.”
It’s a reality that gets reinforced every time a nigga buys a $200 pair of Jordans instead of paying child support. It’s a cycle that’s upheld whenever a nigga takes his girlfriend’s car to visit his side piece – and later returns the car with no gas in it. This is a phenomenon that … well, you get the idea.
On a personal level, I’ve seen my own friends get blowjobs from randoms while they casually spoke to their wives and girlfriends on the phone.
So again, yes, when black women publicly regurgitate their contempt for black men, it’s usually because they have either witnessed or repeatedly experienced the fuckery that niggas often perpetrate and try to justify. There, I said it.
However, let’s not get it twisted, anyone who’s ever taken a sociology or anthropology class knows there’s a MASSIVE difference between “natural” behavior and “learned” behavior.
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It’s pseudoscience to even suggest that genetics play a role in why black men treat women poorly. That’s why it frustrates me whenever I observe black women use words like “trash” and “ain’t shit” to describe black men. These accusations would have greater merit if they were aimed at a specific group of assholes. But the expression “niggas ain’t shit” lacks specificity and on the surface, it suggests that ALL black men behave the same way. It’s no different than accusing black men of being instinctively violent, lazy, or shiftless. These stereotypes are deceitful and disingenuous, and they mainly apply to niggas whose names start with “Le” or “De” (like DeAndre, LeQuan, LeDarious, DeFibrillator, etc).
Again, I’m willing to concede two things: first, historically, niggas have demonstrated grandmastery in the art of “fuckboyology.” Second, we’re experts at conjuring up lies and excuses for our fuckery.
However, if the data surrounding single motherhood is correct, then one could argue that boys who grow up to be “shitty” are often raised by sisters who either tolerate the shittiness, ignore it, or encourage it themselves. That’s what I mean by “learned behavior” – it’s what happens when there’s no father (or equivalent) at home to properly teach manhood while his sons are young and impressionable. It’s also a consequence of “trash ass” mothers failing to groom emotionally intelligent men. We don’t crawl out of the womb trying to fuck up some poor girl’s credit. That’s an instinct of selfishness groomed and enabled throughout a boy’s adolescence by his mother. when that boy grows into a man, he’s a danger for any woman seeking a genuine emotional connection. But that doesn’t stop black women from pursuing these types of men anyway. In fact, oddly, despite their outward hatred for so-called “ain’t shit” men, many sisters welcome these niggas into their lives without caution for their own emotional health and well-being.
Later, after years of heartache, humiliation and regret, these women indiscriminately blame ALL men for how shitty they feel. It’s the dumbest and most avoidable problem in existence. Granted, some men do a very good job of hiding their fuckery. Women run into these traps all the time – and there’s no shame in making poor choices and learning from them. But if a woman consistently attracts – and entertains – scumbag men, then part of her growth process must consist of self-reflection and accountability.
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Nevertheless, instead of working on themselves and improving their methods of selecting a partner, many if not most of these foolish ass girls embrace philosophies that demonize men – black men in particular. It’s a cycle that repeats itself with every new generation, often perpetrated by mothers and grandmothers who poison their daughter’s minds with sweeping generalizations about men. This mentality causes young girls to be cynical and spiteful before they get old enough to drive, let alone date.
As a result, they often ignore or mischaracterize good, well-intentioned men, and they force themselves to internalize a false reality that portrays women as victims and men as perpetrators of emotional terrorism. It’s a defense mechanism triggered by the male fuckery they claim to hate, but mysteriously can’t resist.
The consequence of this stupidity is a world that’s populated by emotionally damaged women who try to hide their pain with selfies, videos of themselves twerking – and when these indulgences aren’t working, they default to bashing men … black men.
The chatter is becoming stale and predictable.
These days, it’s a combination of black women ripping into the character of black men on social media, then pivoting to victimhood by accusing black men of abandoning them emotionally. “When will black men step up and start taking care of and defending black women,” is what I often hear sisters ask.
Well, here’s a counter-question – when will black women start thinking and behaving in ways that don’t require defending? More importantly, it seems arrogant and selfish for black women to demand protection from a group they constantly attack. Nevertheless, this mentality is par for the course if you consider how often black women complaining about what they’re “not given,” instead of asking what they can give. It points to why they flippantly criticize others and routinely cry foul when the criticism is reciprocated. It highlights why they call black men “trash” with no regard to how this remark may impact the self esteem of their fathers, brothers, uncles and children. Also, at the same time, the language sisters use to excoriate black men publicly is counter to the verbal restraint that other groups of women show when they discuss men.
I’ve never heard a single word of contempt uttered by Asian American women about men, especially their own kind. They don’t spread hate on Facebook or launch angry tweets about the males of their community because they value togetherness and unity. The same goes for white and Hispanic women who are more liberal with their verbiage publicly. Still, they express their views about men with a measure of restraint. It may not be genuine, but it’s tactical – to preserve the outward illusion of unity between themselves and their men. Sisters are the only group of women who take pleasure in chastising their male counterparts. It’s a symptom of the dysfunction rooted in black culture.
The Black Hat is written by Southern California based Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog: www.enterthehat.com, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood
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