*Long ago, if a woman needed a break from dating horrible men, she’d lock up her vagina and toy with the idea of becoming an LBD – Lesbian By Default.
However, in recent years, the climate surrounding human sexuality and gender fluidity has shifted in favor of those who reject boundaries and restrictions in their bedrooms. This phenomenon is empowering women to sample romance in various ways, including relationships with bi-sexual men.
According to multiple studies that focus on the sexual preferences and experiences of modern women, there are certain benefits that come with dating and being intimate with men who “go both ways.”
The women polled explained that bi-sexual men are more available and intelligent emotionally, and they’re open to levels of experimentation sexually that heterosexual men typically avoid. The latter group’s aversion to things like “anal penetration,” role-playing, and BDSM, is linked to the perception that “real men” aren’t submissive or “docile” in bed.
These findings aren’t quantifiably accurate, but they highlight a growing trend among women who aren’t capitulating to antiquated standards of femininity or sexual conduct. In other words, women have gotten fed up with the outside world “policing” their vaginas, and they’re openly rebelling.
That’s a good thing.
Furthermore, after a tough breakup (or several) failed relationships, it’s not uncommon for women to experiment with unconventional methods of emotional-healing and self-discovery. Some begin to question their sexuality and intimacy preferences once they’ve been betrayed by love. It’s a cycle that women have grappled with for generations.
But here’s where it gets murky. If this trend continues, will it be due to a philosophical awakening among today’s generation of women? Or is it fair to suggest that centuries of misogyny, sexual repression and male dominance are at the root of why millennial women refuse to embrace the traditions established by their predecessors?
Also, if a sexual revolution is emerging for girls everywhere, how might it affect women of color – especially the sisters? This topic serves as the basis for one of my earlier columns, in which I discuss the possibility of “fuck boy fatigue” being the driving force behind sisters choosing to experiment with lesbianism.
In my opinion, the challenges black men present their wives and girlfriends with regard to financial and emotional security are reasons why black women have begun reconfiguring their dating preferences. Perhaps the dysfunction in heterosexual black relationships has reached such a critical level that it’s pushing sisters into the arms of the LGBT community.
This premise – assuming it’s accurate – underscores an ideological shift among African American women in regard to homosexuality, lesbianism, and sexual fluidity.
Then again, Facebook and Twitter are hotspots for verbal combat between strangers, and often when there are harsh words exchanged between a sister and a black male, she almost instinctively takes swipes at his manhood by calling him “soft” or “gay.” With that in mind, perhaps it’s too early for any predictions about which direction black women will go sexually.
If history is any indication, it’ll likely be the same direction they’ve gone for decades – straight.
Do these attitudes still exist? Or have we reached a period of history resembling the 1960’s when the entire world participated in one massive orgy? Whatever the situation may be, one thing is clear – women aren’t obeying anyone’s rules or guidelines.
That’s right fellas – perhaps it’s time for us to walk away from the dating scene and invest our money in practical items like napkins, hand lotion and pornography. It’s the only logical step for us to take now that women are exploring their “options.”