*Former first lady Michelle Obama kicked off her Mother’s Day tributes last week, when she celebrated her mother, Marian Robinson, in heartfelt message on Instagram.
On Friday, Michelle shared a photo of herself and daughters Sasha and Malia on a boat in Venice, along with the following caption in honor her mom on Mother’s Day:
“Mom, thank you for kindling that fire within me, and for your example as a mother and a grandmother to our girls,” she captioned the pic. “We would never be who we are today without you.”
She then shared memories of Robinson in a special Mother’s Day essay for the new issue of PEOPLE.
“My mother is a woman who chooses her words carefully. She’ll sometimes speak in clipped sentences, her wisdom packed into short bursts and punctuated with an infectious smile or a wry laugh. It’s a style that makes her a favorite of everyone she meets — a sweet, witty companion who doesn’t need the limelight,” Obama writes.
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Happy Mother’s Day to the most caring, brilliant, funny, and grounded woman I know—a perfect role model not just for our daughters, but so many others. Love you, @MichelleObama. pic.twitter.com/liWmYaEPVk
— Barack Obama (@BarackObama) May 12, 2019
She also reflects on what she learned about parenting from her own mother:
As I’ve grown older, I’ve seen how her manner in conversation also reflects her approach to parenting. Because when it came to raising her kids, my mom knew that her voice was less important than allowing me to use my own.
That meant she listened a lot more than she lectured. Growing up, she was willing to endure endless questioning from me — Why did we have to eat eggs for breakfast? Why do people need jobs? Why are the houses bigger in other neighborhoods? She didn’t chide me if I scrapped with some of the neighbor kids or challenged my ornery grandfather when I thought he was being a little too ornery. She listened intently to the lunchtime conversations I had with my schoolmates over bologna sandwiches, and nodded patiently along to tales of my contentious piano lessons with my great aunt Robbie.
From an early age, my mom saw that I had a flame inside me and she never tempered it. Mom, thank you for kindling that fire within me, and for your example as a mother and a grandmother to our girls. We would never be who we are today without you. #HappyMothersDay, Mom. Love you. pic.twitter.com/2LYOS7jzPD
— Michelle Obama (@MichelleObama) May 12, 2019
In today’s world, it’s easy to hear all that and think that Marian Robinson was bordering on negligent, that she was letting the kids rule the roost. But the reality was far from that. She and my father, Fraser, were wholly invested in their children, pouring a deep and durable foundation of goodness and honesty, of right and wrong, into my brother and me. After that, they simply let us be ourselves.
… I see now how important that kind of freedom is for all children, particularly for girls with flames of their own — flames the world might try to dim. … It’s up to us, as mothers and mother-figures, to give the girls in our lives the kind of support that keeps their flame lit and lifts up their voices — not necessarily with our own words, but by letting them find the words themselves.
Obama’s complete personal essay on motherhood is in the new issue of PEOPLE on newsstands Friday. In the meantime, read her full tribute post on Instagram below:
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