*I often wonder how people find themselves in compromising situations. Like me, I’m sure you hear about people who end up getting taken advantage of, assaulted or even killed and you try to predict how you might have handled the same situation had you been in their shoes.
I’m an Investigative Discovery channel fanatic. And while I count myself among those who are – as my mother used to say – smarter than the average bear, apparently it doesn’t stop others from trying to prey on those they consider to be vulnerable.
Last week I traveled to Germany to cover Berlinale, the Berlin International Film Festival. Although I often vacation alone because coordinating my schedule with others is more trouble than it’s worth, this time I happened to be in Berlin with two business associates. Still, I like to strike out on my own. So I decided to visit Checkpoint Charlie museum, the former site of the Berlin Wall that divided east and west Berlin until 1991. I took selfies and videos for my travel blog. And I was about to snap a photo with the two guards posted up at the fake Checkpoint Charlie tourists site (see the photo)
when a man offered to take the photo for me in exchange for me taking one of him. Fare enough, right?
Then the man struck up a conversation with me. “Let’s tour the wall together,” he started off casually, “You’re alone and I’m alone, right?”
I agreed to walk with him, because there’s no harm in talking with a stranger in a crowded tourist area.That’s how you meet new people and learn new things.
As we walked he told me his name, that he lives in Montreal and was in Berlin for a business conference for his IT job. Then the conversation took a left turn. This guy, we’ll call him Adnan because that’s what he called himself, told me he was studying massage therapy, which is the transformation of energy from one person to another. And he wanted to practice on me in his hotel room. Yes, he really said that!
“Oh yeah?”… was my verbal response. It’s what I say when I’m either preoccupied and have nothing to add to the conversation or I don’t want to share the many thoughts racing through my brain about the conversation. To buttress his offer as legitimate Adnan said something about how a massage transfers energy between two people to show if they are compatible. If he was to see me naked, he said it wouldn’t matter to him, because it would be just for the benefit of the massage. Yes, he really said that as we walked along the site of the Berlin Wall and the former Gestapo headquarters. It was bizarre!
He wanted to take photos together too. So we did. Fully clothed outside (see attached).
As we posed for selfies he held me so close I felt as if his real goal was to feel the contour of my body. It was hard to tell how fit or unfit I was with my many layers of clothes. And when my eyes started to tear up because of the wind, he wiped my face with his hands. That’s something you do when you know someone on a personal level. That’s not something you do to someone you’ve just met.
I immediately texted one of my colleagues Adnan’s name and photo with the message: “If I go missing start looking for this guy.” Although I didn’t feel as if I was in immediate danger, I’m always cautious when dealing with strangers.
Adnan said our meeting was fate. He said he was single and had no children but with the right woman he wanted to start a family. Yet, he kept going back to his invitation for me to join him in his hotel room, someone he had met just thirty minutes before.
He said he liked my sense of adventure and my independent spirit was attractive. I assume predators look for people traveling alone with no backup. What surprises me is that anyone would fall for a story like his and end up in a stranger’s hotel room for any reason, let alone for the offer of something so personal as a naked massage. He could be a serial killer! And for all he know I could be one. But if you ask enough people, you can sell anything to anybody I’ve learned. That’s how the law of averages works.
I’ve never been an impulsive person. And I wasn’t about to start on that cold day in old east Berlin. I let him buy me hot chocolate at Starbucks. Then at the end of our encounter I declined his offer for the last time, looked at my watch and told him it was time for me to meet up with my colleagues. We parted ways and that was that.
As I looked back at the photos we took together I confirmed he wasn’t wearing any jewelry on either hand. But there was one photo I took moments before we met that Adnan happened to be in. In that picture he wore a wedding ring (see attached photo). I guess he was used to taking it off when it was inconvenient to wear. It’s guys like this that give relationships and marriage a bad name.
Steffanie is a freelance journalist living in the Dallas-Ft. Worth metroplex. Email her at [email protected] with your questions, comments and speaking inquiries.
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