Sunday, October 24, 2021

The Black Hat/Hey Fellas, If You Want to Get with a 10, Make Sure You’re Not Fat, Broke, and Ugly (and Did I say Broke?)

body shaming, black men, black women, relationships,

*There’s a Starbucks about a half block away from the gym where I train in Los Angeles.

I occasionally grab a coffee and talk ish with the same group of brothers who I see gathered there every day.

Not long ago, I inserted myself into a lively discussion they’d been having about the opposite sex.

Mind you, the brothers I spoke to that evening were over 30, dreadfully overweight, bald (or well on their way), and either retired, nearing retirement, or completely jobless and “looking.”

At first, I listened while they quietly took jabs at a sister whose hands were full with cups of coffee and the keys to her car.

She quickly shuffled past our crowded table and made a beeline for the parking lot, deliberately ignoring the whistles and stares coming from our direction.

Her icy demeanor triggered a long series of insults from the group, which didn’t surprise me. It’s in the nature of immature men to spew hateful words at the women who reject them.

“That bitch should be glad we gave her any attention at all,” one guy uttered. “I know she got a bunch of cellulite under them yoga pants, and that wack ass ponytail needs to go.”

“Yeah!” another guy howled. “These women walk around thinking they’re God’s gift to men, but most of them look sloppy and washed up after 35, especially the sisters.”

beautiful black chick

I took mental notes as the ego-wounded hyenas surrounding me exchanging wisecracks about women who “let themselves go.”

“These bitches come up with excuses for why their arms get fat and saggy and their stomach hangs. It’s not leftover weight from a baby she had 15 years ago, and I don’t wanna hear sh*t about a thyroid condition. It’s because they believe weaves and makeup can hide everything else. But i’mma tell ya’ll what my father told me – you can put lipstick and hair extensions on a pig – but it’s still a pig.”

I listened to their nonsense for 20 minutes, choosing not to join in. But I eventually lost my cool after some creep with a lazy eye loudly declared “If she aint a 10, I aint f*cking with her!”

“Preach!” shouted the others.

Not wanting to offend anyone at the table or ruin the vibe, I let out a chuckle and nodded my head approvingly, so they wouldn’t get suspicious.

But the devil on my shoulder suddenly caused me drop a “truth bomb” on the entire table … and it wasn’t pretty.

With what I imagine was disgust on my face, I said coldly: “Ya’ll niggas must be crazy.”

Immediately a deep silence fell over the table. Smiles turned to frowns. I had their attention, but my window to speak was limited. So I didn’t waste time with pleasantries.

“Half of ya’ll must live without mirrors in your house.”

“Hey you, (I pointed to Mr. Lazy Eye), nigga you ain’t handsome. I’m looking at a bunch of niggas with ashy knees, bloated bellies, and empty pockets, but y’all have the nerve to demand physical perfection from women? That doesn’t even begin to make sense.”

I continued with my lecture until someone interrupted.

“So what chu tryna say nigga?” he asked. “We aint good enough for quality women? I shouldn’t want the best these bitches have to offer?”

“No! That’s not what I’m saying. We should all have standards. But if you’re a 5 on the scale, don’t go fishing for a 10.”

Over the summer, I came to realize that my own standards for women were unrealistic compared to what I had to offer them financially, spiritually, and even physically.

At 30-years-old, my life is hardly a blueprint for success. In fact, if I’m being honest, dating is a luxury that bleeds my wallet bone dry.

And because I reside in Los Angeles – the land of freakishly beautiful people – my charm and modest physical appeal aren’t quite enough to grab the attention of every “dime” I see.

But I’m no different than the average nigga my age whose cupboard is fully stocked with Ramen noodles, white bread, peanut butter, and tomato sauce. It’s part of the struggle.

However, unlike most, I don’t spend my time lusting after Instagram “models” and video vixens. That’s a waste of time for a guy like me.

Instead, I stay in my “financial lane” – which means I date women who won’t turn down a “free” walk on the beach, or happy hour at Red Lobster.

Also, if I were a 45-year-old divorcee with man boobs, erectile dysfunction, and a barren scalp, I’d set practical standards for my dating life.

In our society, women feel all the pressure to stay beautiful and trim, while men can get by with a few (or more than a few) extra pounds around their midsection and jawline.

Even the term “dad bod” absolves men from the responsibility of keeping themselves in shape, or dressing stylishly. This gives men an advantage in the dating world as they grow older.

But gradually women have begun to demand the same level of physical and financial accountability from men .. and then some.

Fellas, this means you have to bring more to the table than a winning personality and a steady paycheck.

If you want to be with a 10, then you’d better be able to match her level.

Otherwise, shut up and hunt for girls at Target like the rest of us.

cory haywood - yall nasty - screenshot
Cory A. Haywood

The Black Hat is written by  Southern California based  Cory A. Haywood, a freelance writer and expert on Negro foolishness. Contact him via: [email protected] and/or visit his blog:, or send him a message on Twitter: @coryahaywood



  1. This blog was written practically by a guy who puts all his values and worth on dating dimes instead of dating women with self- worth, self esteem and real beauty, putting your time in your purpose, creating a master piece blog, and talking about the complaints from these beautiful women rather imprefections from these men. A dime is just another woman who uses her beauty to get what she wants in most cases pretty women have worser attitudes then unattractive women however I can get any women I want. The baised in this blog is unmistakely misguided and unforgiving toward men who are just stating common facts about women that feminine men never fail to challenge in the writing because their pimiping the game and raking in the money. Its to many simple men paying women compliments but don’t know how to keep a women attention and loyality. So they make stupid blogs attacking men because they make a passes at women with an attiude who to stuck up to take a compliments. Feminism has broke the real men in this world to let women get away with this type of behavior but men have to chase women and worship them like Gods or deities . I have been with almost 250 dimes to this date and none of them were worth my time because I knew I had worth and some these brothers forgot what is a man worth to this world not just a woman. If you think about it, women are drawn to wealth, power, repsect yet your looks are only part the picture but chemistry place a significant role in any women really choosing that particular male. Physical attraction is apart of what women want nowadays but now it seems that women are requiring more than money, sex and stability. My friends to women this world is never enough for them but if a man never know his true worth then what can he give a woman. Bascially, men hurt themselves trying to date women who dime because all the regular women they missed out on because of their high expectations and needs. I personally use to treat women like objects and toys until I realize the world is bigger then my desires and sexual conquests. I wanted more then a pretty dime in my sheets which a lot men waste there time chasing a beauty when all you have to do to improve yourself is continue to hunt and live like a lion not like hyenas. This bigger with pretty women all around it and I have traveled the globe many times over and it a huge niche of beautiful women who do not think like women in the Western world do. You may need to travel more beside Los Angeles and travel outside the continental United State and see the options availble per your request.


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