*The roast was supposed to be for Rob Lowe, but obnoxiously-abrasive conservative pundit Ann Coulter was one of the roasters invited by Comedy Central to take shots at the actor, so…folks naturally gutted her to the core while they had the chance.
Peyton Manning: “I’m not the only athlete up here. As you know, earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.”
Nikki Glaser: “The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.”
Pete Davidson: “If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from our crops?”
Rob Lowe: “After seeing your set tonight, we’ve seen the first bombing you can’t blame on a Muslim.”
Jeff Ross: “Ann is against gay marriage. What is your thinking on that? If I can’t get a husband, they can’t either?”
Jewel: “I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight. But as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”
Rob Riggle: “If Ann Coulter is here, someone must have said her name three times. Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!”
Jimmy Carr: “Ann is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-face b**ches alive. It’s not too late to change, Ann. You could kill yourself.”
When it was Ann’s turn at the mic, she acknowledged what the roast had turned into.
“I want to welcome everybody to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe,” she said.
Asked backstage why Coulter was even at the roast, considering she has no ties to Lowe and is not a comedian, Lowe told the press: “I think the best daises are the daises that have people where you’re like, ‘What the f–k’? You need every flavor to make these things go right and cut them all together for a show.”
Coulter, however, was more blunt about her reason for coming.
“I’m only here for all the love and respect I have for Rob Lowe and all of the talented performers tonight. It has nothing to do with the book I published four days ago,” she said…to boos.
The special, taped Saturday night in Los Angeles, will air on Labor Day.