*A drunk South Carolina man resorted to calling 911 after his girlfriend denied his request to have sex.
According to the arrest report, officers responded to a domestic disturbance call and found an inebriated Patrick Doggett imbibing outside.
The report says Doggett called 911 because his girlfriend, Faye Woodruff, “would not give him any ass.” Jesus take the wheel.
Woodruff said she didn’t give him any because “she had her grandchild with her.” She also stated that Doggett had been drunk all day and did not know where he was.
Doggett, 53, was arrested for being drunk in public.